the revenge of the cellulite

mmm...it sounds very familiar right?? maybe i should start a hexalogy of the cellulite....like star wars...and make it into a movie and all.....*winks* maybe i will be famous like George Lucas and then i can quit my current job and go to hollywood and be a superstar? *laughs* guess i am day-dreaming again...but then again....at least i have BIG dreams....*laughs*

anyway.. talking about BIG.... cellulite is BIG...at the right and wrong place!!! let's talk about the right place...yup yup..she's got the boobs!! actually all along i know she has the boobs..but didnt know it was that big...till (1) she kept banging her boobs against me when we were dancing in clubs (DUHZ, what the fuck??) and (2) she wore something that showed her cleaveage ( i reckon it's because she knew guy E will be there!! haha!!) acutually come to think of it..her boobs are soft...*laughs* i knew because she kept banging her boobs against me!! the wrong place...she's got a HUGE tummy!! yes....all girls have tummy..it's rather hard to have a flat tummy and i admit i have a tummy too...but her's HUGE!! VERY VERY VERY VERY HUGE!! this has been certified by a few others....not just me...i can recall...one of them telling me..."wah when i sat on the couch..and she stood beside me..i turned and all i saw was the tummy leh" *laughs laughs laughs* although she does admit that she's gotten a big tummy..but somhow i got the feeling that she feels that mine is as big as hers....*sob sob* and it's not true!!! everytime i dance in the club with her...if we were to dance slightly closer, not only can i feel her boobs banging against me..i can also feel her tummy banging against me..and i have to suck in to prevent that from happening....*sighz*

mmm..then cellulite "zhong she qing you"...*grins* there was once...we were supposed to go clubbing..and it's our usual clubbing khakis...me, her and someone else....so kinda boring right? but we have been doing that anyway...so she asked me to ask guy E out...and so i told her... "aiyah, guy E said no money and then need to work the next day lah" and she said... "tell him i buy him drinks lah..." WAH!!! cellulite buying guy E drinks??? previously, she said...it should be the guy who buys the ladies drinks and not vice versa...(maybe you can read "cellulite again" to understand this better)but now..she's willing to buy guy E drinks?? just to see him?? *laughs* wah..i ask her..."wanna go zouk?" and she said expensive...i asked her "shall we buy drinks and share?" she said expensive...but when guy E said "no money liao" and immediately she said "i treat!!" see...how zhong she....*mutter mutter*

talking bout guy E...think cellulite is DAMN interested in him...first, everytime we go clubbing..she will go.."are you asking your guy E?" please loh..she's the one who's so bloody interested in him...dont call guy E MINE...always asking if he's going...so desperate to see him but yet always calling him mine...DUHZ !! anyway..finally...there's this time...we happened to hang out together...*laughs* then because that night there were more people...people who are willing to spend $$$ and buy drinks...we bought like 6 jugs of housepours...*grins* then me and another friend started to drink and got high..*laughs* then according to cellulite...she had to drink very quickly to prevent us from drinking and getting more high...and which is why in the end..she herself got a little dizzy...but when i asked another sober friend...my sober friend replied " no leh...she just keep asking me to drink..." *laughs* she asked people to drink also can get dizzy and high ah? *laughs* and then she started her koala bear behavior... i thought i saw her clinging onto guy E...i thought i saw wrongly...but then i have 2 other pairs of eyes who saw that....then a pair of eyes saw her give guy E a massage!! in the middle of a club?? *laughs* and when i asked her why did she do that..she said..." guy E falling asleep...wnat to wake him up mah!!" *laughs* i thought beating is a more effective way to wake a person up? then another pair of sober eyes thought she was kissing guy E but then on closer observation...nope..not kissing...stupid stupid...but from 3 pairs of eyes concluded that she was ALL OVER HIM!! but guy E didnt seem to show any interest...mmm....and when i confronted her on her clinging on to guy E...she DENIED EVERYTHING and said that she only had vague memory of what happened..and i insisted that she was all over guy E...well..if she likes to live in a state of denial...carry on....*laughs* and the most ultimate part was this..she and guy E was waiting outside the toilet for me...then i came out and she went in...and because i was rather tired as had been taking care of a merlion...i borrowed guy E's shoulder to lean on...and the moment she came out of the toilet...she IMMEDIATELY began her koala bear behavior..and me being the kind one just moved away and grinned....*grins*

then recently, this is our conversation over MSN:

me: why you keep saying guy E is mine? do i look like i like guy E?

she: you ask yourself lah...

me: no leh...i ask already..i dont...(seriously speaking..i dont..we've been friends for like 8 years??)

she: you sure or not? you dont ah...maybe i should go after him to "ji fa" you....(hahahaha....you like you want to go after..say you like and want to go after lah..what to "ji fa" me..fucker!!)

and from here..she went on and on about going after him to make me jealous...to see if i really like him...to see if anything could happen.blah blah...wah....as if i really care...but then again..i do care..because got SHOW to watch ah...*laughs*

and for dont know what reason....she seemed to think that EVERYONE recognizes her!! if you have read "cellulite" you would have known that she claimed that the guy who approached princess mel approached her as well and all the crap...and 2 weeks later...when that same guy sort of like walked towards us in the club...she said to me...." i think that T guy recognizes me leh...he's coming my way...how? " oh my GOD!!!why does she think he recognizes her? i mean..that T guy is always semi-drunk...and so he's going around chatting up with girls..(this is from mine and princess mel's observation) so he's just being crappy....but he recognized her....i seriously doubt it....and let me illustrate the most classic case...there was this week...i was being naughty and sort of like flirted around with this guy...grins* anyway...the following week, when we saw that guy again and he was sort of like dancing near us to get our attention...my dear cellulite can tell me this..." hey..look! it's that guy from last week...think he recognized ME!! " i mean ii was the one who flirted with him...so under normal circumstances..shouldnt he recognize ME and NOT HER???

actually i do feel a little guilty and bad for bitching about my friend...but then again...this is by popular demand!! *laughs* but once again i must emphasize...i DONT HATE cellulite....just that she's so bitchable and i'm just so bitchy and am a BIG MEANIE!! *grins*