The Lost of the Cellulite

i think it's time...for the finale of...." THE CELL WARS " ...*evil laughter*

Episode 1 - Cellulite
Episode 2 - The Attack of the Cellulite
Episode 3 - The Revenge of the Cellulite
Episode 4 - A Fat Hope
Episode 5 - The Cellulite Strikes Out
Episode 6 - The Lost of the Cellulite

actually i have been intending to write the final episode..but i really dont have much to write...as i've not been meeting up with her that often anymore..simply dont feel like hanging out with her..and actually, she's rather boring to hang out with...*laughs*

(A) DESPERADO

trust me..she's really really really desperate...forever asking the same question when i see her online or met up with her... " GOT GUYS? " *argh* cannot change line ah... our lives only revolves around dicks and more dicks? puh-leese..there's more to life than dicks and balls... the same scenario happened when i met her online during the world cup season...

she: hello, how have you been?
me: good..nothing much...world cup world cup world cup!! haha!
she: oh ya..me also watching world cup...get to know this guy recently who watches and bets....
me: my dear..ALL GUYS bet..regardless of whether they watch or dont watch..and i think your'e damn duhz..you watch because of a guy...
she: aiyah, you also mah...you watch world cup for the cute footballers..
me: hello...at least i know the basic rules such as offside..and even if i watch for the cuties..they are really cute..as for your guy..no comments on that...
she: so you bet ah? i also..but i bet with the guy..whoever lost has to buy drinks for the winner till the winner cant drink...haha!
me: ooh really? then the guy's in luck..as you cannot drink at all...haha!
she: no...i can drink..just that i cannot drink too fast...
me: aiyah, means cannot drink loh..what cannot drink too fast..no need to be ashamed that you cannot drink..i also cannot drink..i will puke..and i admit i'm not a good drinker...
she: *speechless* anyway...*change topic*

hahahaha! arent i being a tad too frank and mean to her? but then again, i think it's time to let her know that she really cannot make it sia... forever asking people to buy her drinks... and she even once commented that guys buy drinks for girls to get some "tofu" in return...OMG, i wanted very much to reply her that if i'm a guy..i rather become gay than to eat her "tofu"...*laughs*

(B) SHE'S IN LOVE WITH GUY E
i believe if you have read episode 5..you would have agreed with me that she's in love with guy E...but i also realized that she's REALLY interested in him...*laughs* about 2 months ago, this is our conversation...

she: hey, what are you girls doing tomorrow?
me: oh, i'm meeting a friend for dinner and movie...
she: hey, i'm also going for movie at plaza sing..watching da vinci code..you? movie starts 830pm
me: oh..i also going there..but watching poisedon...mine starts 910pm
she: really...you going with who...
me: eh...me ah, going with guy E... (was grinning happily when i saw her expresson...couldnt describe but it was an expression of shocked and disbelief with jealousy)
she: oh, you 2 going out on a date ah? wah...so you and him an item?
me: huh? not date lah..cannot go out meh? he's my friend leh..what item? no lah...crazy
she: oh really? okay...we can go home together tomorrow..message me when you're done
me: okay ( in my heart: what the fuck..message you for what? want free ride from me again? jsut wanna see guy E is it? wait nong nong...will not message you...shall make your heart yearn...haha)

and true enough..the next day..the moment she finished her movie..she messaged me asking where i was...i didnt reply immediately as i was drivng guy E to zouk...but when i reached home..i messaged her telling her that i'm already home and that i didnt read my message blah blah blah...and she replied " it's alright..i know lah, you dont want me to disturb your date with guy E" and i replied.." correct.so smart! " haha! i hope i have sent her stomping her feet and feeling jealous of me..*grins*

(c) FAT AND UGLY

i think i more or less can confirmed that she's getting fatter and uglier...*laughs* oh boy..i'm so mean...but it's true...everyone that have seen her picture..asked me.. " WHAT HAPPEND TO HER? " some even cannot recognized her anymore..another friend told me..many friends asked her the same question..." WHAT HAPPEND TO HER? STRESSED? WHY BALLOONED? " *laughs* but i think she still think i'm fatter than her... although many friends have confirmed that she's much bigger and uglier...*laughs* thanks friends, love you all! anyway, there was this time..we were shopping at double index..and she bought a few black tops...and after she bought them she kept saying this to me..." i like to shop at double index..as i can wear their large " seriously, i have no fucking idea what does that mean to me...so what if you can wear their large? is she trying to imply that i cant? puh-leese.i also can wear..just that i didnt buy because i think i dont look good..and not every piece of black clothing will make her look slim...how can a piece of black and tight top make her look slim when the cloth is clinging on to her bulging tummy? duhz...when she looks into the mirror..does she look at her side view? i think it's either the mirror at her house is so damn blardy small that she only see 10% of her body or she has bought the slimming mirror from mango boutiques...*laughs* and for some reason, i always think that she looks unkept,dirty and oily...like some aunties that just finished marketing with some fishmongers..*laughs*

(D) SHE'S BORING

seriously, i think she cannot strike a good conversation..everytime we speak..her conversation revolves around the same things: her clients and guys that she just met or whatever... EVERY TIME we meet up...she will have to share with me how rich this client of hers is...how blah blah blah seriously, do i look like i care about her clients? then she wil tell me how much sales she has made...seriously, do i look like i care again...and after her long and boring descriptions about her clients..she will proceed to talk about guys that she has just met or guys presumably interested in her..seriously, what makes her think i'm interested or even believe in her rubbish? she always feeds me with her rubbish but refuse to let me talk my rubbish...there was this time..was with her and another friend..was trying to persuade the other friend to go diving with me..and then was talking about my instructor, about how cute he was..suddenly, she said..." hannah, can you stop talking about your instructor? " for a moment i was taken aback as i've never talked to her about him..and then i said.." huh? i NEVER told you anything about him leh...why you asked me to stop when i havent even started? " then she speechless... *laughs* i think she's jealous...hahahaha! my instructor was really cute and we had taken an intimate picture together..she's simpy jealous... so in conclusion, if she doesnt talk about guys, clients and guy E...she has basically NOTHING to talk about...boring...*yawnz*

well, here's a picture of the loser...hahaha!

10 Things I've Done You've Probably Haven't *edited*

here are the details in white...

let's see...

1. I go for Brazilian wax on a regular basis - either monthly or bi-monthly - read this

2. I've kissed a Swedish before *grins* - haha! it was some guy that i met in double o..cannot remember his name and cannot remember his look..but he's quite cute...the type of ang moh i likeee..not a bad kisser i must say...

3. I've killed a chicken with 2 other friends using our bare hands - it turn out to be a black chicken and we cooked chicken soup... - this was done in JC1 when i was in ODAC and there's a survivor camp...so basically, there were 3 of us...i held the body of the chicken with a plastic bag..my other 2 friends held the head..so initially, we will try to make the chicken fall asleep by stroking it to sleep...then the moment it fell asleep..we had to break its neck..yes, it's cruel..but it's survivor skills...*shrugs* well, somehow, it's not that easy to break and so the chicken's neck became very long..and the 3 of us was trying our very best to break it..when it finally broke...the chicken's wings were still flapping and i had to hold it tight and press out all the blood...when all the flapping and squeezing stopped, we took the chicken, washed it and peel off the skin with the feather from the butt hole...and then we could see that the chicken has black skin and so we washed it and cooked black chicken soup...quite an experience....

4. I was locked up in a boy's toilet while playing stupid games with my juniors in secondary school *laughs* - aiyah, was playing some stupid hide and seek with some sec 3 girls..and then dont know why i hid myself in an unused boys toilet and then one of the girls locked me up inside..and so there i was...shouting for help..and when the school janitor came and freed me..she told me.." aiyoh, you're a girl leh, next time dont do such a thing..tsk tsk" haha! so paiseh okay...

5. I took the same plane as Aaron Kwok 10 years ago and even asked him for an autograph and picture but have lost both items...*laughs* - actually went HK with school..then at the airport...i thought i saw some fans chasing some guy and thought that guy looked like aaron kwok..then later on the plane..another friend was saying that aaron kwok was going to singapore..and i said maybe he was on the same plane as us..so we went to ask the air stewardess..initially, she was reluctant to tell us..but as we persisted..she finally confesed..so we asked if we could go and take a picture with him..and she went in to ask aaron kwok and he agreed..that's how i got the autograph and picture..but sadly, i lost both...*laughs*

6. I've watched an Oasis concert live in Singapore - read this

7. I've eaten at Au Jardin Les Amis at Botanic Garden where the set meal cost SGD2,000 EACH - of course i didnt pay for it...i dont have the $$$...i went with my uncle and his business friend...it was supposed to be an entertainment dinner for my uncle...basically, it was a VERY posh restaurant..handphones have to be switched of...dress code is quite formal...and the lighting is dark and romantic...there's only 2 set meal to choose from..and they have really good foi gras and other french food..and when the served each dish, the guy will introduce to you what this food is and what's so special, and 90% of the time, i wasnt listening..hungry sia...and everything was in tiny portion but miraculously, i was full by the end of the 10 course dish...very very good experience...

8. I've participated as a cheerleader in the 1998 national day parade - was very active in JC...so friend and i decided to join and we were leaders of the group..it was pretty fun, got to learn steps and practice at the stadium almost every other week...actually, there were many markings in the field and that's how all of us konw where to stand...*laughs* our marshall was rather cute as well...and we teased our teacher-in-charge about him liking her and well, she was kinda naive to believe us and even thought of breaking up her engagement with her then-fiance...luckily, other teachers managed to persuade her against it...and it turned out that that marshall liked my friend..*laughs* no wonder my friend was so enthu to push him to other people....anyway, it's really fun!

9. I've taken a picture of a handsome stranger using my cellphone, see this

10. I had a free meal at Ponderosa @ Raffles City by running away after the meal...*gasps* - haha! that was before i went into NUS...was part-timing at singtel and had a group of fun colleagues...one fine day, we decided to have a good lunch...and then we were just talking about how easy it was to get out of the restaurant without paying...and then someone suggested that we should do just that..and then after much contemplating we decided to give it a try...there were 4 of us...so 2 of us walked out first..pretending to go toilet..then after 5 minutes, the other 2 walked out...pretending to go toilet as well..but the moment we stepped out of the restaurant's staffs' vision, we ran as fast as we could...*laughs* we were panting and laughing but we felt rather bad too...and vowed not to go back there..but well, there's no more Ponderosa anyway...

it was soooooooooooooooo difficult to think of 10 things that i've done and you've probably haven't..guess i'm pretty boring...i think it's much easier for me to come up with 10 things i've havent done and you've probably have! *laughs*

the "WEIGHT" conversation

seriuosly...i think ALL women have a tendency to talk about their weights..no matter how fat or how skinny one can be...ALL women simply have to say they are fat, they are heavy, blah blah blah blah...can someone tell me WHY? what is wrong wtih looking like this:



if you're leading a happy and meaningful life? why must one go on strict diet and whatever shit just to look like this? why must another be envious if someone look like this:



is life only about looking good on the outside? what about the inside? what about other factors that may constitute one's personality and character? is it that IMPORTANT to be slim or even skinnny?

i have a colleage at work..who is fucking weight-conscious and i'm getting pissed with her because every other day... our conversation will go like this:

she: hey, xxx very slim horz...
me: alright lah...
she: i'm damn envious...
me: aiyah..why envious, you'r not very big at all....
she: no lah, i used to be able to wear "s" and free size is not a problem..now cannot...
me: i can never wear "s" and free size is always a problem..and besides you're a mother of 2...
she: ya, but look at yyy, she's a mother a 3 but yet so slim...
me: aiyah...i dont know....

i mean is she trying to get me to comfort her by saying she's slim and all to restore her confidence? what is she trying to do man...does she feel more comfortable and happy after i say.." i think you're skinny" ...why does she think she has a weight issue when she doesnt at all...but then if she really wants to think that she's not skinny..the next time she strikes such conversation with me...i'm going to be super mean and reply..." yeah i think you better go on a diet and exercise more.. " *laughs*

seriously, why is every other girl always saying that they are fat and need to exercise..and then the other girl wil reply her that she's not and she doesnt need to but she herself needs to go on a diet and all..and the the girl will say that she's not fat and then she herself has hidden fats..and this conversation will go on and on and on and on...what is the fucking problem here??? if you really feel that you're heavy..migrate to the MOON!! you will feel WEIGHTLESS and everyone will look fat in that spacesuit!!

seriously, i think we women are capable of striking more intelligent and meaningful conversations...and not some bimbotic issues...*shakes head*

it's SHOW time!

HA HA HA HA HA!

just found a new life....this:



didnt know that channel 5 is showing season 3 and it's on 12am every tuesday...which means..i can go out and still come home and watch tv!! how great is that?? *laughs* so happy..finally IT IS HERE!!! my DL has promised to lend me all 3 seasons when he got it...so excited...although have watched them before..but i can watch this over and over and over again... *smilez*

other than this...i have been watching this:



amazing show...dark humor...showing the vulnerability of humans, relationship, love and kinship...very very nice...it's on channel 5, every monday at 11pm... feel like getting the dvds as well...the doctors are cute and the lines are witty and touching and meaningful...any kind souls out there willing to buy for me all the seasons for christmas? *laughs*

anyway, i just caught this Disney original movie "High School Musical"..it's soooooooooo good..although for kids and the main leads are kids....it's pretty interesting and nice..with nice songs and dance moves...and not to forget..cute leads:

look at how cute the guy is....*drools*



my youngest brother was so in love with this show that he got the cd, the dvd and watched this show like 5 times and could remember all the lyrics of all the songs of this show...amazing..this show is like the kids' version of "Grease" and i believe it will be evergreen...sweeeeeeeeeeeet...but my second brother always teased my youngest brother by saying.." why are you watching a gay show? " *laughs*

mmm...my colleague recommended "Prison Break" to me..saying the lead is this hot guy...*laughs* but havent gotten the chance to actually watch it...have been watching "Sex and the City" as well...i know a bit late and outdated..but better late than never right...anyway, there's this new show "Criminal Minds" which i thought was pretty good...and not to forget, on variety vision (channel 55) , "healing hands 3" will be airing soon...*smilez* so many shows...so happy....

seriously, i think i'm a true blue couch potato!!!!! *laughs* and proud to be one...

updates...updates...updates...

i havent been talking about anything else but football for the past month simply because i've spent almost every single day watching football..hahahaha...now that it's over..i think i will have to get my life back...but now i dont know what to do...*laughs*

ever since the world cup starts..i have not stepped into any clubs or pubs...i think it's time to gather my friends to go partying..but then again...i dont know who to ask...i dont seemed to have any more friends...*sob sob*...never mind..will see how things go....but then i also not in the mood to club... *laughs*

the GSS is ending soon i think...and i didnt really buy a lot of things..let's see...2 mango skirts at 30 plus...1 mango dress at 30...1 t-shirt from dorothy perkins at 14...1 tube top from warehouse at 35...1 top from forever 21 at 28...1 bikini from dorothy perkins at 42...1 watch from fossil at 120...*laughs* actually quite a number...but then somehow, i think i can buy more..but my financial status doenst allow me.... *laughs* just cleaned out my closet and thought that i didnt have much clothes...need to go shopping again....*laughs*

ooh..just realized that 2 of my colleagues at work are really nice...started to get closer to them..after we went butter factory...one of them is really simple with a gorgeous boyfriend...she's so girly that i guess guys will really want to protect her but she doesnt get on my nerves as i believe she's really girly..unlike some who tries to act girly and princessy...*vomits* the other is really nice and interesting..we seemed to have the same wavelength and can understand each other's lame jokes and all..it's really nice shopping with them and chatting with them during office hours...and having lunch with them...all thanks to butter factory..think should make a trip there soon..although i dont really like it...*laughs* ahh, we're planning for a trip to downunder during october..hopefully this can materialize....

ooh...a "good" friend of mine just got attached to another mutual "friend"...was so shocked when she told me this...because i would never have expected them to get together..it's pretty obvious that she like him..but am not sure about the other side..as i have no interest in talking to that "friend"...anyway, this friend of mine quite powerful...she and him has been developing since last year...and i only got to know about it 2 weeks after she started the relationship with him... and i guess it could be because he told her not to tell me as i think he hates my attitude...*laughs* well..this goes to show how much my "good" friend treasure our friendship...*laughs* anyway..it's alright...am pretty much used to it already...hope that "friend" will treat her well...

my DL is back from the states..almost 2 months..but i have not met up with him yet...*shakes head* got wife no friend..tsk tsk tsk...okok..i know why he has not been contacting me and all...i understand blah blah blah...but seriously...why do all my friends forget me when they have the other halves? *laughs* am i that indispensable? but then again..would i do the same to my friends? i really am not sure..*shrugs* only time will tell...actually am very afraid that i would be blinded by love and do all the silly things for love...this is too scary..i think i'm better off alone...with flings and fuck buddies? *laughs* watching sex and the city is definitely not putting the correct ideals in my head...*laughs*

everyone's been teasing about me and this guy in office...seriously, i have no idea why...i mean ya, he's always disturbing me and talking to me..but that doesnt mean that he's interested in me...*laughs* anyway, i'm always the butt of the jokes..so it's alright..one day, a horrifying thing happened...this guy came over and asked me.." hey, did xxx message you? " and i replied.." no...why would he? " and then my boss came by and asked.." hey, did xxx message you? " and i replied.." no he didnt...why would he? " and my boss said.." well...dont lie..he could have message you to tell you about the weather..." and after that..my boss went to my computer and access my messages to see if he really messaged me...at that moment i was so shocked...i thought she's rather rude to do that...for a moment i was stunned and didnt know what to say or do.....mmmmm....never mind...she's the boss....and anyway, i've nothing to hide from her....*shrugs*

ooh..made a diving trip to tioman on 30 Jun 06 to 02 Jul 06...wasnt a good trip...will write about it..once i get the pictures.but then not sure if i will get the pictures...will update soon....also will start working my creativity juices on my last episode on the cell wars....i think it's long overdue...*laughs* need to find new goals in life...i think retail therapy might help...*grins*

italy celebration france dejection

FINALLY....the world cup is over!! and the winner is NOT France... *laughs* although the final 2 are not who i want to see...but am glad that the italians won...all along, i've liked italy but must say they are not my hot favorite...but i think they have done a great job in getting so far... and i must congratulate them for NOT letting any goals in..other than the penalty and the stupid own goals...but in my opinions, this is not because of buffon who won the best goalkeeper award..but rather the good defence wall by the italy defenders...

actually for a moment, i wished i was the world cup trophy..to be able to be held, kissed, hugged and loved by fabio cannavaro...isnt that blissful? *laughs* but only when cannavaro is holding, kissing and hugging it...hahahaha..dont want to have the other saliva all over me...*laughs*

actually for this world cup..it's pretty dramatic...hahaha and it's filled with dubious penalties...but i guess this is the beauty of the game...imperfect and grey... and i seriously think, besides the normal soccer training that these players have...they are taught how to perform a fake when any contact is made with them..all of them..and i meant ALL OF THEM can be hollywood actors...*amazed* should have an oscars or academy awards for the world cup..that would see many nominees from italy and portugal...although many would say it's downright despicable to do that...but to me..it's alright..i dont think it's wrong..it's another way of ensuring a victory..i mean if you can make the referee believe that you were being fouled and award a penalty... it means you're getting one...and that's your job done... if everything is being computerized and all...everything would be so perfect and boring.. no more grey but all white and black.. *yawnz*



many of my colleagues said it's really sad to see zidane exit in that manner..but well, i think given his experience and all..he should have controlled his temper..maybe materazzi had said really nasty and horrible things to him..but given his experience, he should have controlled and all..but then again he's human... but seriously, one's a french and one's an italian...do they understand each other? was there a misunderstanding? would we ever know what materazzi said to zidane? anyway he won the golden shoe and having such an exit could be a blessing in disguise...now people will ALWAYS remember zinedine zidane as the player who got set off for being a goat but yet won the golden shoe...*smilez*

on a separate note..for this world cup...i only made 4 miserable bucks... so sickening...i put in my money as follows:
50 bucks for office pool
5 bucks for spain versus france - won 17 bucks for taking france to win
10 bucks for portugal as the overall winner...almost there
10 bucks for germany and italy to draw - won 28 bucks for that
10 bucks for italy to win germany...
10 bucks for 1-0 France to win portugal - won 48 bucks for that
10 bucks for 2-0 France to win portugal
20 bucks for portugal to win germany...
20 bucks for D-D for italy and france - won 76 bucks
20 bucks for 1-0 France to win italy...
Total Bet = 165 and Total win = 169
HOW MISERABLE IS THIS?????!!!!!!!

for the office pool..the pool money of 2.5k was won by 2 interns...blardy hell...was so damn pissed..i mean...how can we let our money be won by students? and when i saw their prediction table...blardy hell..even more pissed..if portugal have won france..my chance are definitely higher than them...so so so so angry..that i told the coordinator to send a message to the interns: sorry to show you the smal prints..interns are not allowed in this game and hence your prize is confiscated... *laughs* i was really bitter ah...and then the interns decided to buy us breakfast..and i was like: it has better be a decent breakfast..if they decided to just make us happy by buying 2 dollars toasts..they can jolly well kiss my arse...*laughs* i was telling everyone..i'm going to hate all interns, sweared at them, cursed that they will fail their exams, and etc..hahahahaha..a friend commented.." aiyoh, poor interns..they dont even know who and what they have offended" and i replied with gusto.." they have offended ME and MY MONEY!! " hahaha!

well..the world cup has ended...now it's time for beauty sleep and in 2 years time..it's the EURO WORLD CUP!!! *laughs*

the final 4...

hahahaha..because the world cup is not over yet..my life is still revolving around this:



anyway, it's coming to an end...and the final 4 are out...GERMANY, ITALY, FRANCE and PORTUGAL...so exciting because now my chance of winning my subway pool and soccer pool from office is much higher...but of course, if i didnt win my soccer pool of SGD2,500..i have hedged against myself with singapore pools..hahahaha! i must at least recoup the 50 bucks which i have invested in the office pool....so so so so so so exciting....

actually...why would the star players risk their foot for the world cup??stars like ronaldinho, beckham, zidane, nakata, totti, nedved, raul and likes...they are paid millions of pounds for each game they play in EPL, Italian Leagues and whatever... for the world cup, it's just playing for the glory of the country... why would they risk their legs and careers for the country? so maybe the best team is not the team with the best players but could be the one with the new players who want to make a name for themselves....

anyway, here's something very funny which a friend's friend shared with me..... apparently an uncle or something like that wanted to buy the jerseys of some english players...and he has provided "nicknames" for them...see if you can guess who is who....

(1) LAM PA - - - -> this is so freaking easy....
(2) JIALAT - - - - > freaking funny...
(3) AH BOON - - - -> hahaha! this may be tough...
(4) BUAY GAN - - - -> any idea?

Answers are as follows:

(1) LAM PA = Lampard
did anyone hear what the commentator say during the english-ecuador game? he said...." is frank lampard ever going to score in this world cup?" blardy hell..was so pissed because am a fan of his but not a fan of the english team..but anyhow, he's right...he really didnt score in this world cup...guess he can only score when he's wearing blue...*laughs*


(2) JIALAT = Gerrad
many friends like him..but i thought he has a frowny face....it doesnt matter if he's happy or sad..there are always wrinkles on his forehead..hahaha!


(3) AH BOON = OWEN
poor guy....hurt his knee...but thankfully, he still can play football..if not his career is ruined...didnt know he's married with a kid as well...apparently, read somewhere that his daughter snubbed him when he called back to tell her that he's coming home and the daughter asked him to call back later as she's watching some cartoons...


(4) BUAY GAN = BECKHAM
although he's not as good as before...but i think to many girls, women, ladies..he's still very handsome...but i thought he looked weird when he's crying...but anyhow, victoria beckham looked so different now...glad to see that she's supporting her hubby at the world cup...


i thought these nicknames are freaking hilarious and original!!!