men's talk

saw a pair of guy colleagues chatting over lunch at the pantry the other day...dropped by and asked :" mind if i join in? your fruits look nice..." hahaha! obviously, they were polite enough not to reject me...and i asked them what were they sharing..and the reply was "Men's Talk"...what's men's talk? what do men talk about? and the common answer i got was..."SHAVING"...*shrugs*

what's there to talk about shaving? discuss about the different brands of shavers? the types of shavers? how much can be talked about in such topics?? i really really wonder...we girls never talk about that...if we were to talk about shaving..it would be "WHERE" and not what, how, who etc... anyway, since we were at this topic, i asked :" do you guys shave your armpits? " haha! and both of them went " ewwwwww, no way, that's so unnatural..the hair is meant to protect "... i didnt know that!!!! was that why guys' legs are more hairy so that they can protect their legs during war?? and so pubic hair is also meant to protect whatsoever lies within??? but personally, i thought it's cleaner without pubic hair...BUT we all agreed that it's a MUST for girls to shave the armpit's hair..it's damn gross if a girl doesnt...*shudders*

then somehow, from pubic hair..it went to toilet urinals...i asked :" do you guys use that? " and they both went.." yaaaa, why not? " mmm..i used to get feedback from my other friends that they rather use the cubicles..and the conclusion drawn was they are not confident of themselves...*laughs* and so i asked :" do you peek over? " haha! and the unanimous answer is " no, what for? " "comparision? " was my reply...haha and then one of them suggested that the size of the penis is actually porpotionate to the size of a man's feet...another said it's the middle finger...but i heard it's the size of the palm...*laughs* wonder which of these is true...any scientific findings on this? but apparently, the size of one's ear is the size of one's nose!!!

and am not sure why but the conversation carried forward to this question: DO WHALES HAVE PENISES??? *laughs* whales are mammals and they should have...but when one watch documentary, you dont see something dangling about when a whale swims...so where's the penis??? and one of them commented this:" you dont see one dangling about for a gymnast also right? " hahaha! but a gymnast has a piece of cloth...so the whale's fats is the layer that holds the penis in? *laughs* this conversation is getting too weird...

so is this a typical men's talk?? haha! only the men will know......

The Cellulite Strikes Back

hee hee hee...yeah, The Cellulite Strikes Back!! *laughs* to refresh memory...here's my hexalogy:

Episode 1 - Cellulite
Episode 2 - The Attack of the Cellulite
Episode 3 - The Revenge of the Cellulite
Episode 4 - A Fat Hope
Episode 5 - The Cellulite Strikes Out
Episode 6 - The Lost of the Cellulite

so now am writing episode 5...come to think of it...i havent gotten any inspiration since October..almost half a year...but now I'M BACK!! have gathered enough information and done my proper reserach for my episode 5..*smilez*

havent met cellulite for a looooooooooooong time because i simply refused to meet her...and also, she's kinda busy and i'm kinda busy...although i had no idea what we were busy with...*laughs* anyway, just met up with her recently....and boy, she hasnt changed a single bit...*laughs*

mmm...actually, i thought she has put on some weight...*grins* although she was wearing black top and white pants...which seemingly is the best color combination to slim one's figure...i thought her face looked rounder and her arms are kinda flabby...but of course i CANNOT tell her for i knew she will get all defensive and then she might not be happy and i think it's rather rude..i myself would not want to hear "hey, you've put on weight right? so fat now!!" *laughs* so must be more tactful....

well..as usual, she was asking me and another friend if we had any guys in our life and i gave my usual answer "no" which is rather sad as this meant that i cannot "boast" to her...*laughs* initially, she just smiled shyly when i asked her the same question...but after a while, she started to list out all the guys who are apparently interested in her...she didnt say explicitly that they are keen on her...but well, from the tone and all, it's rather obvious loh...acutally, she has always been like that....always boasting that she's "surrounded" by guys..but never had i once seen her guy friends...which i really wonder if those guys are fact or fiction...*laughs* but then i realized one common area...these guys have ONLY seen her pictures and talked to her via msn or phone but have not met her personally....maybe that's why they are interested in her...because (1) she must have shown them her only and most beautiful picture and (2) she must have flirted with them on the telephone really well....*laughs*

a friend shared this with me...
her: hey, have you got any new guys in your life?
friend: no..so sad right?
her: i got a lot leh....
friend: ok...
hahaha! her skin really as thick as the elephant in mandai zoo sia...

i have another classic example...we were chatting via msn on another ocassion...
her: hey, have you got any new guys in your life?
me: no lah...no one likes me leh...you leh?
her: dont have also....your guy E leh?
me: huh? he's not mine lah...what about him? you want you go fling with him loh...*laughs*
her: aiyoh , dont want lah..i no need to fling with him..i got other guys to do that with...
me: is it? like who?
her: my friends lah...
me: i know your friends...but who???
her: *silence*
haha! see, cannot supply any names...still acting popular....*laughs* she can even boast that my friend is interested in her because she said my friend said to her... "hey, i like you leh" hahahahaha! little did she know..my friend said that PURPOSELY to test her reactions...*evil grin*

am writing this down for the benefit of guy E...*laughs* hopefully he gets to read this and know that he's the guy E i'm talking about....anyway, i'm 300% sure that cellulite is EXTREMELY interested in guy E...*laughs* when we first met for dinner...the 1st thing she talked about....GUY E...she was telling me that he doenst look that beng anymore with his shorter hair..and i was kinda baffled as i wasnt sure who was she talking about and why did she suddenly talked about him...then after much asking, she finally said that she met him for a drink one friday..it just so happen that both of them were in suntec and so they went for a drink...he's there for ktv and she's there for movie..and then i thought they were so fated to meet just like that but i was wrong...apparently they were messaging each other :"no lah, we will message each other when we go clubbing to see if the other is clubbing or not loh...then just happen we were both at suntec at that time" then i asked..."oh, so you message him first ah?" and she answered defensively..:"aiyah, cannot remember already..." *laughs* i think she messaged him first but too paiseh to admit that loh...WTF!! then we changed topic...and then suddenly, she went back to her drink date with guy E again...saying they were drinking at pauliner and then chatting...and apparently this is the first time she seen him in the light...blah blah blah blah...went on and on and on and on...on the way home in the cab...still talking about guy E...telling me about their chat..something about guy E being a economic rice store owner..*laughs* and then i said..."aiyah, you keep saying you got no potential around you...him loh!! and you 2 so fated to be able to meet in suntec...i friendss with him almost 8 years..also never met up with him for a drink before leh..." and she said..."ya horz...i think i shall go after him...haha!" frankly speaking, i think she's speaking the truth...she even commented that he's a nice guy and although look like beng..but a good-looking beng...*laughs* but i also think agree to a certain extent lah..because he's my friend mah...wahahahaha! anyway, this is not the 1st time i've talked about her and guy E...but i guess such things are cumulative..*laughs* really cannot wait to see her in action sia...so exciting!!!!!!!! then she forever start the topic about guy E using me as the excuse...forever asking me to go after him, to consider him, to blah blah blah....*yawnz* think she was jealous that i didnt ask her to go double O 3 saturdays ago as i met guy E there...she complained that i never asked her go clubbing...*laughs* actually i did ask..i asked if she wanna go MOS because i intended to go there...but she didnt reply... HOW IN THE WORLD I KNOW SHE'S INTERESTED IN DOUBLE O WHEN SHE DIDNT REPLY MY MESSAGE??? tsk tsk tsk...maybe my message to her should be "hey, am going XXXX with guy E, interested?" *laughs*

i think this time...cellulite is really striking back!! *laughs*

difference between a female and a male driver

picture this scenario (courtesy of a friend):

you are driving along the expressway...driving on the 3rd lane ( the most left lane and for slower vehicles)...you were driving as per normal...as you approached a filter-in lane..ie another car may enter on your left into the expressway provided you are driving on the right side of the road...another car was filtering into the expressway...in theory, the car should slow down but this particular car did not slow down but seemed to be determined to go right in front of you car and into the expressway....

HOW WOULD YOU REACT??

in my opinion, this is the type of reaction you would expect of a female driver:
(1) assumed that the car would slow down as she has the right of way
(2) realized that the car is not slowing down and started cursing him
(3) continue at the same speed assuming that the car will notice her approacing and slowed down
(4) realized that the car is realy NOT slowing down and check her mirrors to ensure that all lanes are cleared..if she doesnt, proceed to the next step
(5) change lane
(6 drive past the driver and glared at him/her
(7) complain to friends/boyfriend/parents that this stupid car just didnt give way although she has the right of way and if she didnt change lane on time, there would be an accident

on the other hand, this is the type of reaction i think a male driver would have:
(1) assumed that the car would slow down because he's coming on fast
(2) realized that the car is not slowing down and started cursing him
(3) check mirrors to see if can change lane...if possible, change lane..if not possible, reduce the speed
(4) let the car into the expressway
(5) overtake the car and glared at him/her
(6) if it's a him, vulgurities..if it's a her, shake the head and said "as usual..lady drivers"
(7) complain to friends that lady drivers should be banned on the road

am not sure how accurate i am...but generally, i think most girls will follow the books that they have learnt during lessons very closely..so close to the extent that they become inflexible...while guys will assume that they are god of cars and become arrogant drivers until the day they met with an accident...*laughs* but i must say, there are good and bad drivers in the female and male communities...*smilez*

as for myself..i would normally reduce the speed because i'm at the slowest lane and am already driving slowly..unless i'm driving some super powerful car which i am very sure that i can drive faster than the car that's filtering in...*grins* it's logical to give way to a ferrari when you are only driving a lancer as you know the lancer will NEVER outrun the ferrari right? so why waste petrol? petrol is so expensive nowadays... but of course there were times when i didnt slow down and change lane WITHOUT *gasps* checking my mirrors...this is so so so so dangerous..must change....*grins*

i'm a lady driver

yesterday was driving home...was going out onto TPE from a filter lane from pasir ris...and then i cut across to the middle lane and well, there was this motorcyclist who was speeding and i sort of like blocked his way..*laughs* yeah, i thnk all the motorcyclists out there are hurling abuse at me...and then somehow he managed to swerve to another lane and sped past me and of course..when he sped past me..he had to turn and look at the driver and when he saw me..i am 200% sure that in his mind he went " no wonder, female driver"...*laughs* well, i admit it was partly my fault..i didnt estimate accurately that he was going at such a high speed but hey, it's not my fault that when i stepped on the accelerator and my car just didnt accelerate fast enough for that speeding guy..anyway, i hope he will be caught by the TP..*laughs* speeding kills life...

well, i have been a driver for almost 4 years...i think i got my license when i was in university year 1...didnt pass it at the first attempt..got it at the 2nd attempt....but am glad enough...was very lucky to be able to drive immediately after i pass...at that time, dad had a white mitsubishi manual lancer...and old one...which was a nightmare because whenever i was behind the wheel, my dad will nag NON-STOP... the most classic example, he nagged all the way from boon lay (jurong camp) to hougang... "why didn you change your gear? cant you hear the engine?" and " why did you change your gear so fast? the car is not ready yet?" and "why do you always delay moving off?" OH MY GOD!! what a nightmare...he was so naggy and complainy that my mum decided that it's time to change for an auto car and lo and behold, we bought an auto toyota corolla...and the mitsubishi was sold..*grins* no more gear-changing lecture but my dad went on to his lane-changing, parking, keeping in lane and whatever lectures...

anyway, i have been a safe driver...still have my 24 points..and the only things that i knock is the kerbs and the dustbins...*laughs* some commented that i drive very fast...some commented that i'm reckless...some commented that i'm safe...some commented that i'm good...some said i'm a fierce driver...*laughs* many friends and family members have been driven by me...and i think most of the time, they dont have to worry about the balloon (read: air-bag) popping out onto their face although, sad to say, most cars that my family own only have 1 balloon...*laughs* so no matter what happen, no balloons will pop out!

anyway, there are just some drivers i simply hate...but then again, at times, i'm like one of them...*laughs* i hate those motorcyclists who hogged the first lane and moved at the speed of a snail...and with only 2 wheels, they would ride right in the MIDDLE of the whole lane..making all the other drivers following behind...*argh* and whenever i'm parking my car and fyi, i'm not really a lousy parker as i can normally park the car without much trouble...anyway, i hate it when the cars around me gave me the "can-you-please-dont-waste-my-time" look when i just arrived at the lot 2 seconds before him...*argh* but at times, i am the one giving that kind of look...*grins* i also hate those drivers to observe the speed limits to the micro details and yet hogged the fast lane...and most of the time, these drivers are ladies, aunties and uncles..*sighz* it's these people that give us ladies driver a bad name...haha! am sure most drivers do not have a good impression of taxi drivers - they stop suddenly, they swerve suddenly from lanes to lanes, they horn you as and when they like, they hog the road by queuing up and when you need a cab desperately, they go into hiding...*laughs*

actually, i think i'm pretty lucky...have driven quite a number of different types of cars...have driven a toyota corolla, a mistubishi lancer, a 320 BMW, a 318 BMW, a c-class benz, a mitsubishi colt and a 2 litre honda accord...but you know what's my dream car?? hahaha! i would love to own a BMW 645 and a BMW Z4...*laughs* actually, am always telling my brother..if i had the money..i would buy a nissan skyline and modify it to become an automatic car..or a WRX will do as well...*laughs* and if i got the chance to drive such cars, i will don on my nerdiest attire and put on the nerdiest pair of glasses and shocked the whole world...especially the ah bengs!! *grins*

i'm sick...

i'm sick....for the 1st time in 2 years...all along..i have been pretty healthy...cannot remember the last time i took a MC...even when i knew that i'm falling sick...i would have been able to prevent it by taking panadol and sleeping many hours...*laughs* but i've failed this time...my body has rejected the sleep and panadol treatment...and so to the doctor i went...

went to consult this doctor near my workplace...Dr Lim..a pretty nice lady...i went in...she took my temperature...touched my throat and told me i have big tonticles...(not sure if i heard wrongly or i spelt wrongly) but anyway, she showed me that i really have some big things at my throat and which is why i tend to get fever and sore throat rather easily...but i told her.."doctor, i seldom get sick ya know" *laughs* then she said.. "this is a good sign..drink more water and gurgles with salt water every day"...anyway, she made me feel like i am some octopus...haha! and i've forgotten to ask her..." after gurgling, do i drink the salt water as well?" hahahaha...such a bimbotic question....

anyway, she gave me 1/2 day MC and gave me only 3 medicine...for the first time in my life..this is the least medicine that i have recieved when i consulted the doctor...there were only 3 types and each type she only gave me like 5 tablets? *laughs* wonder if it's because it's "free" as paid by corporate and so she didnt give that much...anyway, i went home and took some porridge, took the medicine and concussed...slept quite a bit but still woke up feeling groggy this morning and so i called my office and took the day off....report sick...

am feeling much better as i typed...but also my eyes are getting heavier..i think the drowsy effect has taken place...once again, i can watch all the cartoons that i love...on cartoon network, nick and disney channels...*grins*

dreams...

am sure everyone have their dose of dreams...some are sweet dreams, some are nightmares, some are weird and some are meaningful...there are some dreams which i have no memories of and there are some which i can remember very clearly....and normally those that i actually remembered..they are really really really really weird....

Weird Dream #1 : My Lions


i am an avid lover of lions...dont ask me why..i just think they are damn handsome....*laughs* once, i had a dream about my lions..in that dream, i had 2 lions as pets...*laughs* one was a wild lion who roared at everyone and the other was a tamed lion who just walked along with me..i had them on reins and they were basically walking with me in public....in that dream i was actually going for some movie gala..and was with my boyfriend's mother...and funnily, i cannot remember who was my boyfriend in that dream..anyway, because it was so crowded, my lions did help me to get through the crowd as everyone was scared of the wild lion that i had with me...after te movie, i brought my lions to my boyfriend's house...and he had a swimming pool and so i let them into the pool for a bath..i jumped in with them and shampooed their manes...after that i went up to my bofriend's house for a bath while i let my pets swam in the pool...then suddenly i heard a scream coming from the pool and that was my boyfriend's sister who happend to return home and saw 2 lions swimming in her house's swiming pool..i reassured her that my pets were really nice and wont bite but she simply asked me to get them locked up in cages... after that, my boyfriend came out and shooed the sister up to the 2nd level with some magazines and then we sat at the living room with the lions swimming in the pool....and that's the end of my dream....*laughs* very weird dream right? i really did enjoy it because (1) i have my favorite animals as pets and (2) i had a boyfriend..a rich and handsome one too...HAHA!

Weird Dream #2: Hong Kong 4 Heavenly Kings


my dream with the 4 heavenly kings was really interesting...in that dream..i was invited to a pool party...and i was actually the date of...AARON KWOK!! he invited me to this pool party and in that party..i saw all the celebrities of Hong Kong..was mingling around with the handsome kids like Edison Chen and likes...and then Aaron told me that he wanted to intro me to some of his friends..and so we went into the pool...fully-clothed with a glass of champagne...as we walked along the pool...we met even more celebrities and apparently all of them knew who am i...and we chatted like old pals...and somehow, the swimming pool is like a meandering river...and soon we reached a group of guys chatting...and they turned out to be the other 3 heavenly kings - Andy Lau, Jackie Cheung and Leon Lai!!! we chatted a bit...laughed a bit and then my alarm clock rang!! damn it...why couldnt i stay in the dream longer..and i could meet even more cute guys...*laughs*

Weird Dream # 3: Jay Chow


this is my latest dream...thought it was rather sweet..and it involved jay chow...not that i'm a big fan of his...but i have no bloody idea why did i dream about him....basically, in that dream, he was one of the board directors and we were having a meeting...and he was sitting opposite me....during the meeting, he didnt say much and i didnt say much..we merely listened...and when the meeting ended...jay started to chat casually with me...and i asked him to teach me the song "san hu hai" and he agreed!! and then somehow, we were happily chatting..and somehow, i guessed we exchanged mobile numbers...and the scene changed and i was walking along the road..and was actually chatting with him on the phone...i asked him about his pink mercedes, asked him about the gosspis that i've heard on tv and radio, asked him about his songs, chatted about his life and all...and then i said:" i couldnt believe it man...am talking on the phone with you.." and he replied :" there's nothing special about that right?" and i replied.." hello, am talking to the world's famous jay chow - zhou dong sia" and then at this moment..the girls around me started to shout :" you are talking to jay chow!!!!???? " and then i said no and started to run away...and then over the phone, jay was complaining that i shouldnt have made it public that we were chatting on the phone and he said now the reporters will start another gossip about him..and i rebutted that it wasnt my fault that the girls around me had a sensive ear towards "zhou dong" these 2 words...and then we sort of like ended up unhappy with each other and hung up...after a while, i recieved a sms from him...it went something like that...."hey, i think i've over-reacted...so sorry, dont be angry okay? hope to chat on the phone with you soon...:) call me!" i smiled and then my stupid house phone rang and woke me up....

very funnily, i am not a big fan of the Hong Kong 4 heavenly kings and neither am i a big fan of jay chow..but i had such sweet dreams of them...hahahaha..i really wonder why...anyone clever enough to decipher my dreams for me? maybe God is telling that i will live like a queen as lions normally signify grand and majestic...with a boyfriend who is popluar and handsome with many good-looking and important people..and he will be just as talented as jay chow...*laughs*

birthday

to those who have wished me happy birthday... thank you very much...you've been MARVELLOUS
to those who have wished me happy birthday and given me gifts...many many thanks...you've been GREAT...
to those who have forgotten about my birthday but am ignorant...you are FORGIVEN...
to those whom i thought will not wish me but still wished me happy birthday...you are so SWEET...
to those whom i thought will remember my birthday but didnt...you will BURN IN HELL...*laughs* kidding!

anyway, i think as one gets older...everyday is your birthday...somehow, the excitement of celebrating it does not excite me anymore...maybe i know i am getting older *gasps* and my presents are getting lesser *sighz* but i guess that's life...as one gets older, it's harder to get presents because everything that i want starts to get more expensive...and it's not something which friends can afford...read: BMW *laughs*

but it's really nice to hear birthday wishes from people whom i least expect to hear it from...at that moment...you will feel that you are being loved and people does care for you..and that feeling is really really great...especially from the person you least expected..like a new colleague, a very old friend or even a new friend whom you are not very close...very sweeeeeeeeet but of course...wishes that comes from old pals are equally heartwarming and sweet...at the same time, it's kinda sad to not recieve any wishes from people whom you thought would remember...but it's alright...it's just a birthday...maybe these people will remember my deathday...*laughs*

gosh, i hate to be 25....mid-twenties crisiss!!! *grins*

does size really matter?

recently was reading this book by sidney shieldon...and somehow, the main character in the book is a man with a HUGE dick... and he's damn proud of it and many women had enjoyed it and blah blah blah...then i really wonder...DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER???

recently, somehow...in a way or another...have been discussing the most unusual topic with my friends...the size of a dick...*laughs* such a concident!!

it all started because somehow, i managed to watch tammy's video...oops! *laughs* and i thought the guy's dick was rather big...i felt that it was so big that i thought it seemed painful for tammy...anyway, that's just an observation....and so i asked a guy who had seen the video as well..."hey, is that guy's dick big or is it normal?" and he replied:"yeah, kinda big..." *laughs* so that guy's dick is big... and that's the conclusion i had after the conversation with him....

after a few days...met up with a close guy friends...and then i asked him if he had seen the video and he said yup and again i asked :" is that guy's dick unusally big? " and to which he replied.."alright lah, only slightly longer than mine" haha! *fainted* anyway, he then confirmed that it's rather big...and then i asked:"so what's the normal length of a dick?" and this drew a weird conclusion from the guys: a dick is inversely proportional to a guy's built...actually, i felt that a dick is inversely proportional to a guy's brains...*laughs* after a whole load of laughter and exchange of sarcastic remarks among the guys...they did not give me any conclusion...

than later in the night...was not sure how it started...but another guy friend said that he had a 6-inch dick...*laughs* then i went to check a ruler and realize that 6-inch is about 15 cm...and i personally thought it's quite long...*laughs* but have no comment on this and it's self-explanatory why...but my question is....WHAT IS THE USUAL LENGTH OF A MAN'S DICK?

since the guys refused to answer...i asked the girls...*laughs* 2 of my girl pals said they had no idea what is the benchmark...but they also think that 6 inch is rather long...another girl friend commented that she prefers a 4 - 5 inch as a 6 inch would be too big for her and her boyfriend's a 5 inch...haha! so this leads me to the question...DOES SIZE REALLY MATTERS? what's the use of a long and big dick? would it be more troublesome to handle? what if the size of a dick is really inversely proportional to a guy's brains...would a guy prefer a huge dick with puny brains or a puny dick with huge brains?

guys are always comparing the length and diameter of the dick....but do any girls compare the width and breadth of the hole? *laughs* i think men are measured on the length while women are measured on the size of their boobs....i think most guys prefer a C cup...frankly speaking, i personally prefer a B....talking about boobs....last saturday, went windsurfing...was in the changing room...and this woman came out stark naked..was not shocked..but i thought her boobs looked perky...*laughs*

SMRT hates me...

everyday, the mrt is part of my journey to work...every morning, i will reach YCK station at 720am and board the 725am train and will reach raffles place by 745am...and reach office at 758am...this is like my everyday routine...sometimes, i may catch the earlier train...i think i share an okay relationship with SMRT..

BUT.......

i think i need to revisit my relationship with SMRT..for the past 2 days...i was late for work because of SMRT!!!!

on tuesday...i reached YCK at my usual timing..and funnily i realized it was unusally crowded...and the display board read : marina square 2 mins and this message was on the board for like 20 minutes!! then a guy kept saying : please do not board the oncoming train as it's out of service and this guy repeated this line so many zillion times but i didnt see any train approaching at all...so this went on for like 3o minutes before i saw a train crawling and stopping at the station..the train was packed...and guess what, the doors could not open! *laughs* i could see the anxious look on the students inside and outside the train...people are whipping out their mobile and calling whoever in their office to inform that they will be late...and truly yours was one of them...the train couldnt move for like 10 minutes...and there are technicians running around..and people are streaming out of the station...soon, taxis and cars were all jamming up and everyone seemed to be frantically flagging and calling for cabs...as for me...*grins* i called my dearest father!!

on wednesday...i reached YCK at my usual timing...the train came at its usual timing...everything seemed usual...saw some familiar faces...until the train reached TPY...and then the same guy came on air and said : this train is delayed due to faulty trackes, sorry for any inconvenience cause and this guy repeated this line at every single station and the train has to stopped at every single station for like 5 minutes....this happend from TPY to DG and once again...people were whipping out their mobile and truly yours was again one of them...and since iwas on the train..there's nothing i could do...so i continued reading my book...thank God that i had a book with me.... *smilez*

mmm...frankly speaking..i really think SMRT HATES ME!!!