Been quite a while since I last wrote.not that my life is unhappening but just that it's too random to be put into one post. but yet, all these small snippets actually made up my life. i guess my life story is a combination of millions of short stories.
well, i think i just lost a group of old friends. all because i refused to be part of the bridesmaid team because i was not able to get the same dress. to be honest, it's very silly but i really dont know why i was so stubborn. basically, we were supposed to make bridesmaid dresses togets but because im not in singapore, they made the dress without me. but they did told me to give them my measurements and they will make the dress for me. i refused as i know it's not going to be a nice dress and all the shit. but honestly, it's not my wedding, i need not look the best. but still, i refused. i told them i am quitting and i dont see the point. and besides, im just part of the bridemaids team because i am conveniently part of the group. that pissed them off BIG TIME. and then to make matters worse, i didnt go to the dinner in the end. i chose to go to my uncle's dinner instead. the reason? well, i just feel that they dont want me to be there. i dont have the invitation card, i dont know what's going on, no one updated me, no one contacted me. so fine, whatever. haha. seriously, i think im very childish but i guess this is just how i really feels and thinks.
after taking on a managerial role, im dying from all the stress. it's NOT FUN at all to be a manager. in fact, it's so stressed that i have "collapsed" several times after i've taken on the role. SO NOT FUN. i couldnt control myself and i got personal. and i get pissed off very easily and it's really very difficult for me. i have a team which everyone is earning more than me and being more experienced. and it didnt help that my boss is a great manager and everyone's so used to his style and i cant do what he does. in the beginning, one of my team mates actually called me and told me that i need to be like my manager in order to gain respect from them. i was like " WTH". oh well, i guess im screwed? hahaha. anyway, i have just decided. i am going to give myself 6 months. by 2nd quarter of 2010, i want my team to adapt to my leadership style. by 1st quarter, i will stop being nice and friendly. i want to be more firm and get my instructions across. i will do my best to "protect" my team but i cannot do it the way my boss does it. so if my team thinks im useless, too bad. that's me. and by 2nd quarter 2010, i want them to respect me for who i am. i have the capability and i have the skills. so they have no right to despise me simply because im younger and less experienced.
i want to go to the beach again. had great time in langkawi. sunny and i got a nice tan. not too burnt. just nice. swim, laze, dive and eat. shioks. but im going to london in april. shioks too. never been there. super excited. hopefully the weather is good. cant wait to go holidaying again. haha it's bad as everytime i go holidays, i lose my momentum at work. but oh well, i need to balance my work and personal life. hee hee.
ooh, one of my good friend's sister is getting married and she asked me to be part of the bridesmaid. haha. i told her about my incident with my old friends. she told me " okay, i will give you all the details by june. " she's getting married in november. HAHAHA. i guess i was very direct and frank when telling her my story. and then she asked me to help her look out for dresses. so i started to google. and i fell in love with this:
isnt the dress on the right so pretty? i love it sooo much that i am saving this picture in my hard drive. HAHAHA. and why is it so pretty? it's by vera wang. maybe i can ask her if she can sponsor me just like how she sponsor carrie bradshaw. i should start writing columns! hahaha. and no, i am not desperate to get married. in fact, i think i may never get married. i have commitment phobia.
