Great Depression

i have no idea why. i am feeling SUPER down. so down that i just want to hibernate and do nothing. i am in one of those moods again. i have only negative feelings. nothing is cheering me up. not even my Spain trip. perhaps the only thing that can cheer me up is that i won 1 million dollars in a lottery and i can quit and travel around the world. or to be more realistic, i found a better job.

i didnt know a person can change so much in my life, in the way i look at myself, my job, my life. i didnt know a person can have such a huge effect on me that i basically went from one end to the other. i didnt know that one person can let me see how good i am. i didnt know that one person can make me hate my job so much that i find my job a chore. there's a lot of things i didnt know until now.

i know change is the only constant. i know i should embrace changes. i know all these and i know this is how i should be. i remembered that in london, my friend's mum did tarot card reading for me and said that there will be a change in my career this year and i am dreading that change but i will embrace it. well, the first half is right. second half, i dont see it happening. i dont like the change. i disagree with the change. this change makes me realize how much i hate my job and company. i need a new job. DESPERATELY and NOW.

why? why would a person promote another just because that dude is kinda cute, carries her shopping bags and possibly gave her orgasm. this is so not right. shouldnt we be rewarded based on our competencies and merits. fine maybe the dude's competencies and merits is that he's willing to be a dog. then get a dog. a dog is much better. i wish im a dog. a dog doesnt have to worry about such lame stuffs. i dont have to worry about me being underpaid. i dont have to worry about people complaining about lame stuffs to me and expect me to do something about it.

oh well, i guess life is unfair. i dont even know why i wrote this. dont worry. this is not my will. i am not committing suicide. im too gutless to do that.

Why I like Glee

my new found love - GLEE. haha actually i dont really like it but it's quite lame and corny and so i thought it's quite nice. and besides, there are quite a number of eye-candies in the show. and i dont mean just the guys. some of the girls are pretty hot too. there are a few interesting things that i notice about this show.

if any of the characters are in the cheerleading group aka cheerios, they have to wear the cheerleading uniform wherever they appear. they have NO OTHER clothes. i think it's pretty sad. i mean being a cheerleader would mean that they are slim and fit and popular but they can only wear the cheerleader uniform? that's quite sad.

these are the 3 main cheerleaders in the show. although they are in the glee club, they are always wearing this uniform. it's quite boring and sad. i mean seriously, the black girl on the right has such GOOD BODY. i would love to see her in some sexy dresses or some nice jeans. and when other characters join the cheerios, they have to be in this ugly uniform as well.

this guy is a gay in the show ( and a gay in real-life ). he's always dressed nicely with nice hair. but the moment he's part of the cheerios, he has to wear this ugly uniform. seriously, if the producers is trying to use the clothes as a form of indication that these characters are cheerleaders, at least the uniform should be nicer and i think people who are fans or avid followers of the show will know who are the cheerleaders.

another funny thing is the storyline. right at the beginning of the show, during the first or second episode ( i cant really remember ), the story goes by that glee teacher wants to quit. i mean seriously. the show is called "GLEE" and obviously the teacher who is going to run and inspire the Glee kids is NOT going anywhere in the show. if he quits, that's like the end of the show. it's PRETTY LAME. hahaha. but on another note, matthew morrison is quite a charming man.

apparently he was singing on broadway in "hairspray". haha cant imagine him as "Linc" as Zac Efron was "Linc" too.

anyway, i really really really really really really really hate the main lead. she is super duper annoying. she is so annoying that although her voice is really good, i hate her! she is super annoying and i dont understand why would any guys be interested in her. she reminds me of  a colleague who is always trying to be smart and friendly but is actually super lame. but that colleague of mine looked like "ugly betty". I am NOT kidding. she really is like "ugly betty" hahaha. even betty is prettier. anyway, the main lead is not that ugly but i think the pregnant cheerleader is much much better.

pretty pretty right? im actually quite jealous and wish im as pretty or rather i have been more diligent in my diet and losing weight plans and have looked like that when i was in high school. sigh. i guess i kinda like Glee because it's like HSM. it has pretty boys and girls, with some lame storyline but inspiring moments where the boys and girls always break out into songs SUDDENLY. haha. which is pretty lame. imagine walking down the school hallway and then suddenly, this girl started out singing and dancing in front of you. if this happened in real-life, i would have burst out laughing. HAHAHA.

well, the main male lead is actually this guy:

to be honest, i dont think he's cute. i dont like it when he sings and dance. kinda dorky but then kinda cute. hahahaha. anyway, he's not that young. he's like 28 this year but he's acting as 18 or 17. but he does look young. anyway, i dont think he's cute. now, this is my guy:

Isnt he CUTE??? his looks and height are just PERFECT FOR ME. sigh. if only i can find someone in real-life. i mean seriously, he is sooooooooo cute. and not to forget, he's oh-so-sexy. slurrrp. i really really like this guy. everything about him. even his character in the show, my favorite. the bad boy who is actually good. i guess i am always into this kind of guys. he looks a bit like robbie williams ya? *giggles*