dark lover...

i have a dark lover...we have been dark lovers for many years...let's see..i knew him in 1997 so it's 8 YEARS!!! wah...very long ah...scarry...but i think he became my dark lover later...not sure when..but definitely not the first day we met...

for these 8 long years that we have known each other...our "relationship" has got its own UPS and DOWNS..which is very very normal...when we are UP we can be as high as the heaven above and when we are DOWN we are right at the bottom...

now this dark lover of mine...has his good points and bad points....not perfect at all..but then again..who's perfect but GOD? *smilez* and yes..i'm going to bitch about him...*laughs* well...he has the link to this blog and hence he's going to read but i am not going to hide what i REALLY think of him...anyway...he requested and agreed that i bitch about him...*smilez*

let's start with the nice things...he's basically cool, funny, nice to talk to, interesting, blah blah blah...aiyah..the normal things ah..when it comes to nice things, the description is always the same and so boring...agreed?? *yawns*

well, this dark lover of mine always seemed to be attractive to MANY girls which i seriously dont understand..*grins* not that he's ugly or has a horrible character but to me he's just another guy and he's not my type... (as if he cares if he's my type and vice versa) he will have "stupid" girls doing stupid things for him..buying expensive things for him, running errands for him...etc...but of course..he does his fair share of stupid things to other girls... *laughs* i remembered he was once EXTREMELY SAD over 2 of his ex-girlfriends and he also got paranoid over this girl for nothing and all...*laughs*

i can always remember us talking on the phone for long hours every day...we will chat and chat and chat and talk about different things and all...it was rather fun and interesting...but there were times, i didnt really want to talk to him..because he's ALWAYS REPEATING & ASKING STUPID SENSELESS QUESTIONS!! he would call and tell me about his "outing" with this girl and at the end of the story he would asked " DO YOU THINK THERE'S SOMETHING BETWEEN US? DO YOU THINK SHE LIKES ME?" if you asked me... HOW THE FUCK I WOULD KNOW??? and if i gave him a negative answer, he would try to reason to me that it's positive and if i gave him a positive answer, he would ask " THEN HOW? " aiyo..what how? like that ah...stupid question!! *laughs* but of course..now this sort of things has lessen tremendously....maybe we were young last time and all...but it's interesting...*grins*

i remembered we got into this HUGE argument the last time he was in singapore... (oh he's currently studying mass communication in the states) it all happend when we went clubbing and i drove that day... and he INSISTED THAT I DROVE HIM HOME!! well.. you can say " since you drive, you are expected to send people home" but hello.. I DRIVE FOR MY OWN CONVENIENCE AND I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING DRIVER!! besides, he's staying totally out of the way and to send him home i have to make a huge major detour..and it's 3am in the morning and i was so tired... and so when other friends asked why did i send him home and i told him i answered them this " i didnt want to...you insisted mah" and he got furious at me for saying that and he questioned why i cannot go that extra mile for him and to which i rebutted why cant he go that extra mile for me and take a cab home??? WTF!! anyway,we didnt talk to each other for a long time over this incident but somehow, we've decided to bury the hatchet!! *winks*

well..i may seemed to be so unhappy with him but actually i am not exactly that unhappy..just that there are certain aspects of him i dont really like...and i think he knows about it...*grins* BUT what kept us together is our common likes and dislikes!! *grins* we are always the masterminds of evil plans, creators of naughty thoughts and also the executors of pranks! *laughs* "Prepare for trouble, Make it double, To protect the world from devastation, To unite all people to our nation, To announce the evil of truth and love, To extend our reach to the stars above." *laughs* in case you people think i come up with this...nope..you are so so so so WRONG!!

actually a lot of people asked... "you like him right?" oh PUH-LEESE i dont like him at all..we are really friends..we dont have special feelings towards each other and we dont behave like a couple...we behave like BROTHERS!!! *claps* then why is he my dark lover? well..i cannot remember how we come up with this term but i reckon it's like we are the backup of each other under very serious circumstances!! *laughs*

in summary, my dark lover is a great guy but he's a jerk at times...*laughs*

brazilian waxing...

had an exciting saturday...*smilez* actually nothing much also..not as if i did a lot of things but just that i didnt sleep my saturday away...although to me..sleeping on saturday is not a crime and i dont think it's pathetic to spend my saturday sleeping...*laughs*

well...i went for my brazilian wax...the second time...*grins* for those who doesnt know what is a brazilian wax...basicallly, it's to remove all the hair from you pubic area...*laughs* aiyo..very shy...somehow, i thought it was more painful this time..but it's still very cute...*laughs* actually if you ask me..i think it's cleaner when you remove your hair because you can see everything and hence you can clean better..also during menses..it's SO MUCH cleaner..actually i once asked a few guys this question: do you prefer hairy or hairless? and the answer i got was unanimous... HAIRLESS!!! *laughs*

actually it's kinda shy initially to do this thingy...because basically one have to show the most private parts to another person and to be "fondled" by her as well...and it's a HER...so weird...not that she will purposely touch and make you high..but hey..it's a sensitive area right and so any "fondling" will caused a reaction!! i mean i'm VERY sure actors/actressess will get a reaction when they are filming some intimate scenes...dont tell me they are professional and can control..oh PUH-LEESE..they not human ah? RUBBISH....

here are the steps:

(1) strip off your bottom and wrap yourself with a towel provided

(2) lie on the bed and the lady will open the towel and your most private part is exposed to her

(3) open up your legs... (as if you are giving birth...eh..i think giving birth also need to open up....but i never give birth before ah)

(4) she will use a scissors to trim some long hairs...

(5) open up your legs more and hot wax will be applied to your body... ( actually the hot wax very nice..very soothing..i like..)

(6) then something will be placed on your body...something like a plaster...

(7) *spiaks* and the lady will pull off the plaster and your hair will come out... (it's actually painful but it's bearable..but i went "ouch!"

(8) lady will touch and continue to put wax and legs continue to open in weird positions and plaster continue to remove hair... (lady will talk to you to ease the situation...)

(9) then must turn behind and remove hair from the butt crack... (didnt know there got hair leh...but it's the most comfy part of waxing)

(10) then lady will use a tweezers to pick out some tiny hair... (this is so bloody painful..hate this part...)

(11) then lady will put antiseptic cream and soothing gel or dont know what...

job is done in 20 minutes time!!!

seriously, it's quite cute...*laughs* but sadly, only I can see...*laughs* actually wanted to take pictures..like "before" and "after" but thought it was too pornographic and am not sure how and in which position should i take...*laughs*

cartoons...

i love cartoons...they are so colorful, so nice, so funny, so interesting..all kinds of things can happen in cartoons...you dont have to suffer, you dont have to work, you dont have to worry, just enjoy life... *smilez* mmm...let's see..here's some of my favorite cartoons...

spongebob square pants!! one of my favorite... "oh who lives in a pineapple under the sea..SPONGBOB SQUARE PANTS!!" *laughs* always managed to watch it either on kids central or nick..even went to watch the movie...

powerpuff girls!! didnt like them initially..thought they were too childish..but have grown to like them...i wanted to be part of them too! *laughs* anyway my favorite is Buttercup..the green one...will watch this cartoon every night at 1130pm..*grins*

dexter's laboratory!! this kid is very very smart...like his inventions and all...his irritating sister, dee dee, is really irritating but entertaining!! *laughs* and of course...there's mandark....who's always trying to be smarter than dexter but was so in love with dee dee...*laughs*

the fairly oddparents...this is one new cartoon..which i recently liked...very funny..this guy has 2 fairy godparents who will help him..and they always have this very irritating babysitter who managed to attract an alien! *laughs* and these aliens are afraid of chocolates!

and how can i forget my pokemon...used to watch them every sat morning..was so so so so in love with them...even downloaded their songs and was learning how to sing...ooh..i dont know how i stumbled onto this website and got myself a pokemon name..."Shatrino" *grins*

teenage mutant ninja turtles...teenage mutant ninja turtles...teenage mutant ninja turtles...heroes in a half shells...turtle power...leonardo's lead, donatello does machine, raphael is cool but rude, michaelangelo is a party dude..teenage mutant ninja turtles...teenage mutant ninja turtles..teenage mutant ninja turtles...heroes in a half shells..TURTLE POWER!!

captain planet...he's our hero..gonna bring pollution down to zero...blah blah...we the planeteers...you can be one too..coz saving our planet is the thing to do...polluting and polluting..is not the way..here's what captain planet has to say...THE POWER IS YOURS!

actually there are more..but i reckon if i were to go on and on..it would be never-ending..yes...as you can see..i am not the "mature" cartoon lovers..i love the cartoons which the kids love...and i dont like anime..i like simple cartoons..cartoons that are only 15 to 30 mins long...

I am a kid at heart...always a kid at heart...*smilez*

i'm going crazy...

i'm seriously going crazy..have been doing crazy things lately...my mind seems to be out of place...but like not really out of place...i mean...at least i dont see brain juicies leaking out...*laughs* but then horz recently i thought i felt some things on my head...are they brain juicies? *gasps*

there was this morning at work..my conversation with mel.... (from what i can remember ah...most probably only 20% accurate!! but must give me benefit of doubt ah...)

mel: good morning! are you very busy?

me: alright ah..not very busy..got a few things to settle now...

mel: oh..i thought you very busy..you are so quiet...

me: aiyah...what to do? i cannot sing...

me: huh? sing?

mmm...what is this about 'singing'? neither am i in the music industry nor am i a singer..so why do i say "i cannot sing"??? beats me... *shrugs*

then was talking to mel over some chat thingy...then was supposed to type: "my uncle" but i typed "mun uncle" actually this is not funny or crazy..but because mel and i have a common friend witht he surname "mun" and mel thinks we are fated and all and she went crazy and gaga over the fact that i was thinking about him... but I AM NOT!!! it's a pure typo error...

then was talking to jill....about this handsome guy i saw at the diana's event...was telling her... "heh heh the guy's name is joseph..nice right?" and jill also quite cute...she told me... "mmm..change your name to mary ah..because joseph + mary = Jesus!!" ha ha ha... that was in the morning..then in the afternoon suddenly i said... " jill, did i tell you the guy's name is joseph? suddenly i remembered...his name is not joseph leh..it's george!" *laughs*

i'm REALLY crazy!!!

diana krall

mmm...went for diana krall's concert...if i didnt remember wrongly..she's a jazz singer...well..basically i am not into jazz...i prefer rock, punk, alternative, pop, rap, R&B...anything but jazz...jazz makes me go zzzzz...that's why it's jazzzzzz...because i go zzzzzz....*laughs*

this is how she looks like: quite prettty...*grins*

.

actually it's free tickets...complimentary from my uncle...you see..my uncle works in the finance industry...and salespeople from different financial institutions have to service him...so i always get free perks!! *laughs* (mmm..i think people are getting green with envy..but not my fault horz...what to do when you have an uncle like that and who loves you like mad?? *laughs*) thus far, i have been to free musicals, plays, dinners, shows etc...very nice..all premium seats and food!! *laughs*

anyway...back to diana krall's activity....had dinner with my uncle at this chinese restaurant, Soup Restaurant....not bad...was bloody full...because it's a company event, there's free drinks and fingerfood provided at BalaClava... heh heh...and here's where you see how the different bankers and stockbrokers and dont know what interact and socialize..very interesting...and the guy who services my uncle...man is he gorgeous... tall, good-looking,charming, speaks well, hold himself well,earning good bucks!!! i like..i was like..mmm.not drooling..but admiring him...he's so so so so so my type...told my uncle that he's cute..and my uncle said..."if i'm not wrong, just broke up with his girlfriend...anyway..he's a canadian-born-chinese..." wah..my heart went thumping non-stop...so eligible...so near yet so far....

finally, the concert..it's a very simple concert..nothing fanciful...at some convention hall...were sitted quite near to the stage..premium seats...*grins* diana came out with 3 other musicians...one guitarist, one drums and one bassist...she's on the piano..then she started singing...and because she's playing jazzzzz i zzzzzz within the first half hour...*laughs* cant blame me.. i'm not a jazz person... but on and off..i woke up and listened..quite nice...there's this song..very funny...it went something like... " i dont wanna sit next to you because your feet's too big..i hate you becaues your feet's too big...i dont wanna eat with you coz your feet's too big...." funny song...the rest...not much impression...but she sang quite a few Nat King Cole's song..which were nice...but i still dont like jazzzzz as it really make me go zzzzzz *laughs*

my next free shows.... The Sound of Music (Musical) & Phua Chu Kang (Musical) .... heh heh dont be green with envy... i think..i have to switch industry...must go into the finance industry and do sales...but i want to do sales in ideas..and not in products..mmmm...how???

cellulite

cellulite...as defined by merriam-webster online dictionary... "accumulation of subcutaneous fat" *laughs* i have accumulated tons and tons of subcutaneous fats...not only on my body but around myself.... *laughs* yes..i'm going to bitch about one "friend" again...*laughs* "i'm a bitch, i'm a lover, i'm a child, i'm a mother, i'm a sinner, i'm a saint, i do not feel ashamed" *grins*

this friend of mine..actually i do regard her as a friend..just that at times..the things she said, the way she acted..really amused me...not that she pissed me off..although at times yes...but most of the time..i'm truly amused...

she always think that she is pretty, slim and attractive!!! seriously.... if my own brother, my very own blood-related brother has commented that I, his own sister, very own blood-related sister, am MUCH prettier than her...HOW PRETTY CAN SHE GET????? let's get this straight...my brother has NEVER once said i am pretty or even average or even alright...to him, i'm always FAT & UGLY...and my brother said... "your friend ah, like lego people...square square...but only one part is round...her TUMMY!!" *laughs* and that day...we were walking along some street...and i just commented that my jeans are so damn loose...and i pulled them up as i walked...and my dear friend had to reply... "mine also leh" wah..like that also must fight...what's she trying to prove???

another time...we went clubbing...and this guy was OBVIOUSLY interested in princess mel... he was very close to princess mel and was talking to her and got her phone number as well....but this guy didnt bother about my friend...but when she retold the story to others...she can say... "wah..this guy very touchy....right hand touching me and left hand touching the other girl... very disgusting..but i dance away to show my disinterest" mmm...but if you ask me...i thought the guy was INTERSTED in princess mel and NOT HER??? *mutter mutter*

when we were in school, she would always hitch a ride from me..not that i mind that she's taking a ride from me because she lives really close by...but she will purposely fit into my timings so that she can hitch rides from me... CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? for example, my lesson starts at 10am while her first lesson is at 2pm...she would rather go to school with me simply because i drove... *sighz* let me illustrate this classic case...

she: eh i want to go novena square after this lesson...

me: okay..go ah..i 'm not stopping you..ha ha ha...

she: you going home straight after lesson???

me: yeah...i guess so..not going anywhere....

she: so you can give me a ride to novena horz....

me: huh? no lah..it's not on the way....cannot give you a ride...not even to any train stations..not on the way at all...

she: like that ah...then i follow you home..i go novena square another time...

WAH!! amazing right? did i in the first place offer to give her a ride home? did i in the first place become her chauffeur? did i ever mention that she can follow me home???

however, this friend does provide entertainment for me...*grins* she ALWAYS seemed to have guys around her life...guys wanting to date her...guys picking her up in clubs and pubs... BUT these are only her side of the stories...never seen any guys picking her up when we went clubbing, never seen any of the guys whom she's always talking to... but of course..i give her the benefit of the doubt...since she wants to "boast" i'll let her be.... *grins* and i'll always remember the reason why she used to frequent "Siam Supper Club".... *drumrolls* THERE'S NO COVER CHARGE AND THERE ARE MORE POTENTIAL GUYS FOR HER!!! oh holy cow...which guy in his right mind would pick you up??? *oops*

here's the latest:

she: any programs this week?

me: which day you talking about? anyway might be going clubbing this friday...

she: huh? i cannot leh..saturday i can...

me: eh...then so sorry..we going on friday....

eh..did i ever mention that i was going to ask her along? did i say..."wanna go clubbing this friday?" no leh...i said..."might be going clubbing this friday"...is my sentence misleading or is she reading too much into my sentence? *grins*

mmm...i can foresee some comments:

(1) you very mean ah...she's not that bad lah... i didnt say she's bad..it's just that there are certain aspects of her i really must comment...just my personal opinions ah...

(2) if you dont like her, why still hang out with her? i didnt say i dont like her horz..i only said she's pretty amusing in certain aspects...and i just want to bitch about her...

(3) are you being to judgemental? she sure got some thing good right? aiyo...already said...she's alright..just that i find her certain aspects quite interesting...quite pissing off and quite duhz..she's in fact quite okay as a friend..

mmm...wonder why i bitch about a friend with the title "cellulite"? because she's like cellulite...UNSIGHTLY & UNWANTED!! *laughs* "i'm a bitch, i'm a lover, i'm a child, i'm a mother, i'm a sinner, i'm a saint, i do not feel ashamed" i'm just being mean...i dont mean it ah..she's still a friend.... *smilez*

whassup???!!!

yay!! it's the new month again....why am i so happy? *laughs* i also dont know...but hey...like what my blog title says... "some pursue happiness - others create it" i'm creating happines for myself now!!! how cool can i be?? *laughs* anyway...the 1st quarter of 2005 has just ended..a new quarter is just starting...let's see what I've done for the past 3 months....

(1) I have been attending church regularly!! wah..very proud that i am still keeping this new year resolution...heh heh...anyway...really enjoyed going...

(2) I have been to Madam Wong (a club) for 3 consecutive weeks!! think i'm crazy...going to the same place for 3 consecutive weeks...but hey..the music was nice...although the crowd was not that nice..but not yucky..acceptable!!

(3) I overspent in March!!! sighz...spend quite a sum of money in March..but got the things i wanted of course...once in a while...must splurge...but then i think my "once in a while" has become way too often..it seemed to be "every month"....*shrugs*

(4) I have been called "Hanny" as per requested..i have put this line down...basically someone called me this name and another somone got all excited and happy about it....*weird*

(5) Gossipers are amazing!!! went for dinner with a group of friends..everything went along well...suddenly at the next table, realized that the group of ladies were sitting at one side of a round table, facing us..and my friend told me... "those girls are talking about me!! cant believe it..they are literally talking behind my back" *laughs* it was so funny but yet so hmmm... amazing....actually i'm also a gossiper...and so i'm also amazing....*laughs*

suddenly, i wonder... Do Singaporeans have toilet etiquette???

casinos in Singapore...

this topic has been quite "hot" in Singapore lately...people have been debating on whether casinos should be allowed here....mmm...some penny for my own thoughts...

in my personal opinion, casinos are a good source of national income....when the number of tourists increased, the hotel industry, F&B industry and entertainment industry will be booming...thus, not a bad idea to have casinos...from the financial aspects, having casinos is basically a very excellent idea....more money, more jobs, more income, more spending, more national income...because GDP = private consumption + investment + public spending + exports - imports...with casino, it seemed that private consumption will increase...investment will increase as more firms will be wanting to invest in singapore with the increase in demand..public spending will be increase in some ways...it seemed that GDP will increase...so more money...WHY NOT???

however of course we cannot just look at one aspect of any issues...we have to look at other aspects...with the opening of casinos...many has predicted that social problems will increase...more people might end up in bad debts, more people might become compulsive gamblers, it might not be a good learning environment for the impressionable teens and violence may increase....these social problems that may arise are not on unfounded grounds...such cases are frequent in countries with casinos and such news are often reported...but is casinos the true and only cause of such social problems? what about pubs, clubs and discos? dont they pose the same problems - compulsive alcoholics,fights, bad habits? so i guess this is where the controls will come in...knowing our government...controls will be in place...police will patrol...fines will be imposed...although it will not solve all problems...but i believe it will help to control...

basically, i am for the idea of having casinos in Singapore...i believe majority of us, Singaporeans, are not brainless...we are mature enough to know what is right and what is wrong... casinos are another form of entertainment for Singaporeans...so why should we give up this entertainment because of the problems that might be caused by the minority? isnt it unfair??

heh heh heh....this entry is to prove that although i may crap a lot......i do have something between my ears....and it's called "BRAINS"....*grins* although i think a lot of people will beg to differ....*laughs* mmm...come to think of it...my first "serious and profound" entry...on the last day of March!!!

am i really that FAT??? =(

recently..i feel fat..in fact..i am fat..no need to feel... I AM FAT!!!! but i dont want to be fat....anyway..come to think of it... WHO WANTS TO BE FAT??? ha ha ha...silly me!! never exercise...sleep and sleep and sleep...eat and eat and eat....eat and sleep....sleep and eat...how not to be FAT ????? if i can remember correctly..i have been saying " i want to lose weight" ever since i know how to talk.... *laughs* but till now...24 years have passed...and i am still FAT and in fact... VERY FAT!!! *argh* 2 persons have said that i am fat for the past few days...very sad....not angry..but sad....sighz...am i really that FAT????

there's this new colleague in my office....was around for a few days only...bumped into me at the toilet last thursday....she mumbled something to me...and i couldnt hear....why? BECAUSE SHE'S MUMBLING!!! anyway..that's besides the point... then she continued to mumbled..and i just go.. " ooh...ah...ya....mmm..." then suddenly she asked... " ARE YOU EXPECTING??" and i go... "HUH? no lah...." duhz....am i so fat to the extent that i have a bulging tummy and do i look that old???? wah...very very very very very very very sad.....*cries*

then....went out with some friends..we were just chatting about some rubbish...then suddenly she commented that there's this eligible bachelor in her office..she wanted to introduce to me....and another friend rebutted by saying... "wah..if so eligible, how come dont keep it for yourself?" and this friend of mine said... "mmm...he's very big-sized leh..when i stand beside him..i feel very small...i think he's suitable for you, hannah...he's very big" wah..i was crying in my heart ah...am i really THAT BIG ??? comparative with this friend...i am only taller...as confirmed by princess mel...not that much bigger...*cries*

today...the sky is crying for me too...it's been gloomy and rainy since morning....i think God also thinks i'm special and unique... PRAISE THE LORD!! HALLELUJAH!!!

I HAVE A DREAM....

yes..a very famous line by the martin luther king jr...i think..not sure if i spelt his name wrongly..sorry ah..if i offended anyone by spelling his name wrongly...

anyway...i have always liked BMWs...and it's my dream to drive one...always wanted a job with challenges....so to combine both...what's the most suitable job for me??? TRAFFIC POLICE!!!!! *laughs*

why? very simple because (1) our traffice police drives BMW, (2) i can speed like nobody's business, then i can appear on tv "world's wildest police chase", and (3) i can be the superintendent who appears on "crimewatch" every last friday of the month.... *laughs* seriously..i think i'm suitable to be a traffice police...i have a driving license, i have a degree, i'm pretty enough to appear on tv!!! *laughs* furthermore, government jobs provide good income!!!

shall send in my application form real soon....*winks*

What you are, you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself.

mmm...found this quote somewhere..it's by Beethoven..i like..although i think a quite aloof and proud..but i like...*grins* mmm..maybe that's why Beethoven is always frowning in all his pictures and figurines..because he's always angry! *laughs* anyway..talking about him..i dont really play his pieces...somehow not my style...but to put it in another way.... I'm totally untalented!!! *laughs* his pieces too difficult for me...i prefer Mozart, more light-hearted...or Scarlatti...easier notes...*laughs* mmm... why am i talking about classical music? might just bore myself to sleep.....*zzzzz*

anyway...wanted to bitch again...*laughs*...didnt know that i am such a bitchy peson..anyway...there's this guy...wanted to ask me out....but i kept saying that i was busy...*grins* actually it's more like i'm not really interested to meet him...anyway..here's the story:

me: you want to meet me for what? when? go where?

he: meet you for dinner @ ochard 730pm on thursday (24 mar)?

me: dinner you treat ah??

he: i can treat you chicken rice at far east plaza...tasty...

mmm...pardon my sluttiness and bitchiness but does this guy has brain???!!! how can a guy think of treating a girl on a first date to a chicken rice store in some shopping mall??? maybe i am materialistic and whatever...but i thought it's only nice to bring a girl to a nice place on a first date? seriously...i really wonder...anyway...not meeting him because got team dinner...*grins* and when i told him i cannot meet him..his replies were fucking DUHZ!!!

His 1st message: I can guess that you dont want to meet me...i wont force you..you take care..anyway you have forgotten how i look

His 2nd message: Please dont get angry...i wanted to meet you but you say you cannot meet me...so i very sad

what kind of messages are these? these kind of messages just dont work with me..i wont go... "aw...poor thing..okay i meet you" instead i would go... "WHAT THE FUCK?"

anyway...this song keep ringing in my head.... " i dont know what it is...you make me feel like this..i dont know who you are...but you must be some kind of superstar...coz you got all eyes on you wherever you are..." thought this song was quite nice to dance to...*laughs*

i think i am sick...

mmm...i think i am falling sick...feeling cold...no appetite...feel like vommitting...feel very very tired..body seems to be aching...headache...nose seems to be running...think i'm going to be sick...maybe i will die...if i die..would anyone cry? would the number of people who cry exceed the number of people who laugh? *shrugs* what if no one cry for me? what if everyone laugh when i die? am it THAT unpopular? HOW??????

ms mah is sick today too..poor girl..she's been working too hard...really pity her..always backing others up because others are always on leave...poor girl...even when she's on mc...she still work...why work so hard? LIFE IS SHORT..PLAY HARD!!! *laughs* ooh..she told me the doctor felt her pulse and asked if she had been working very hard...to me..it's either the doctor is really good or ms mah's pulse is running like hell...*laughs*

mmm...before i die...can i request that i want a glass coffin? and i want to be dressed in the most beautiful green gown with a tiara on my head..i also want lilies to be laid around my coffin...i want my wake to be white..and the music to be played must be nice...songs from Eminem, Linkin Park, Offspring, Green Day would suffice... then after burning my coffin and corpse, i want my ashes to be distributed to all my loved ones in nice little bottles....for their memories....*smilez*

by the way, did you know: BMW stands for Bayerische Motoren Werke?? *grins*

i am an onion....

after my entry on human beings....someone left a comment...this annoymous person said that i am like an onion....and if my "friends" know that i actually bitch about them in my blog... the way this person left his/her comment is interesting to me...it seemed that he/she is trying to be nice but yet sarcastic....could he/she be one of the people i have bitched about?? *think think*

BUT...i think the description that i am an onion is very very very very apt...

(1) an onion has many layers...so do i!!! i strongly believe that i have many faces... people might have seen a common front which i have always protrayed...but there are also many different faces which i only show to certain people...

(2) an onion can make you cry if you are unable to handle it... i think at times..i can be quite mean and critical..and i could make people upset or angry....

(3) but if you know how to handle an onion....it is quite a delicious and useful food...well, if people can accept who i am and know how to "manage" me...i think i am not such a bad person afterall...*grins* but then again...that's just a personal comment...anyone can beg to differ...

i get to find out that one of my friend was actually upset over my entry.....she was upset that i think she's a poser...actually i dont really mean that....seriously...it's like...imagine i was talking to this person about relationship and this person said that he/she had never been in a relationship and i go "You're such a loser!" well....when i said that...i DO NOT really mean he/she is a loser....it's like a mmm..how should i put it....passing remark? joke? i thought she knew me well enough to know that i am fooling around and have always been sarcastic... guess i was wrong..should have been more sensitive... anyway...to that friend...if you are still reading my blog... "I'm sorry...didnt mean to hurt you...."

mmm...someone commented that i am too judgemental....that i tend to judge people too easily...but i would rather put it this way....impressions are formed within my head when i meet people ...the comments that i have put forth are just personal opinions...opinions or impressions which i have gathered from sight or hearing...from my encounters with the other party... i may be wrong....i may be right...these are just my personal perceptions...i did not insist that i am right....not like a judge...a judge has the final say in the court...i dont...i'm like a lawyer....i give what i have...my evidences, my guesses, my predictions, etc for the jury to decide if i am right or wrong and for the judge to pass his final statment...maybe i should have keep my bloody mouth shut and keep all these to myself...but what's wrong with a little bitching? I'm sure EVERYONE bitch about EVERYONE...maybe i shouldn't have share my bitching with others *smilez*

weird guy...

men...weird creatures...had a call and some smses from this guy today...trying to be funny...but not funny at all...quite lame and disgusting...*laughs*

got to know this guy from devil's bar recently...cannot actually remember how he looked like...but one thing's for sure...NOT HANDSOME! *laughs* dont even know his name...dont even remember i left him my number...*laughs* but it's okay..because my incoming calls are free!! *laughs*

anyway...this guy is weird...here's the conversation:

he: hi...do you smoke? i dont...i dont like smoker...

me: eh..i dont smoke... (AS IF I GIVE A DAMN IF YOU LIKE OR DISKLIKE!)

he: you dont smoke at all or you are just not smoking now...

me: i dont smoke at all... (stupid...cannot understand simple english??)

he: where do you live? i live in tanjong rhu...

me: why you want to know? (as if i care you live in tanjong rhu or tanjong katong or tanjong pagar....)

he: just curious....

me:northeast....

he: can i have your number?

me: cannnn..... (free incoming calls...so can give...no worries!! *laughs*)

and so i keyed in my number for him...and totally forgotten about him....

today...he gave me an sms....which was totally STUPID!!! it goes... "hi joel, how are you getting on? message you but no reply" after reading it...it dawned on me that it was someone trying to message Joel right? well..after a few minutes....my phone rang...and a voice went... "hello...can i speak to hannah? this is joel..." and i went.... "joel who?" *laughs*anyhow...he started talking about being friends with me..if i dont want to be friends with him i can just say so...blah blah..and i just go... "okay!!" and in my mind it went... "whatever you trying to say!!!"

after we hung up the stupid call....he messaged me a few times...providing the following info:

(1) he just came back from KL, went to visit his mum (like i care..)

(2) he's on vacation because he needs to be on reservist soon (what does that mean to me?)

(3) he's from ACS primary, ACS, NJC and NTU... (eh...do i look like i work for MOE? am i doing a survey?)

(4) he's working in Ernst & Young...and it happened that his father is one of the shareholders.. (trying to flaunt your wealth at me? tempt me with your money as you know you have no looks? try harder...)

(5) he's an indonesian chinese.. (as if i care...)

mmm...basically....i thought that he's trying to tempt me with his riches....but sorry..i am not that tempted...maybe i would...if he says... "YO BABE...I DRIVE A 7-SERIES BMW!!" *laughs* but then again...am i that materialistic??? *think think*

human beings

the world is indeed make up of different individuals...that's what make the world a wonderful one....interesting and colorful...just imagine..if everyone on the street behave the same...wouldnt that be scarry and boring? actuallly deleted a previous blog with the same title...thought that blog was not very "me"....*grins* anyway...let me described some individuals who really "blew me off my feet" recently....

Individual #1:

Name: classified...ssh....*winks*

Age: 24

Gender: Female

What happened:

went clubbing together with this friend of mine...was from the same jc and went to the same varsity...as usual..i was prancing around like some mad woman on drugs...because i simply love dancing..although i dance like shit..anyway..that's beside the point...my friend was stoning...imagine...stoning in a room full of people, smoke and alcohol..how unhappening can she be...anyway...asked her why you so tired..she said..she's been working the whole day...too tired too move...guess she wont be moving already...well...however, when a few guys joined us later in the night...my friend was no longer tired and stoned...suddenly all her energy returned..and she started dancing...weird...thought she was so damn tired a few minutes ago that she had decided not to dance anymore....mmm....*winks*

Individual #2

Name: top secret....ssh...*winks*

Age: 24

Gender:24

What happened:

same day clubbing...the other friend...simply entertained me by trying to catch one of the guy's attention..maybe i was wrong..but what the heck...at least from my point of view..i thought she was...was in this guy's car...waiting for someone or something to happen...some jazz music was playing in the background...friend commented that she loved it...and guy and friend started talking...so i kept quiet...after a while..guy asked why was i so quiet...and i casually commented that i didnt like the music...and guy changed the cd immediately...could hear friend goes :"but i like..it's nice..." anyhow...music had been changed..and guy asked..."is this okay?" and i casually commented..."not really, do you have Eminem?" and guy changed the cd immediately..and could hear my friend goes:" change to the jazz one..i like..." *laughs* me almost burst out laughing..but i controlled....and guy asked :" is this music better? sorry..i not eminem fan" and could hear friend saying: "jazz...nice...i like...." and i just said..."alright..this would do..never mind..no need to take my words so seriously..." and for the 4th time...could hear friend goes..."but i like the jazz music..." no reactions from guy....*laughs* mmm...interesting to see how a girl can try to catch the attention of the guy....maybe i am too....but for sure...i have won!! victory is mine!! *laughs*

Individual #3

Name: mummy...

Age: ssh.....woman's age is a secret...

Gender: of course female...

What happened:

think my mummy is one amazing woman...she never fails to impress me...she has always been a strong woman...able to handle stress and difficulties well...think i inheried certain traits from her...for one, we are both spendthrift...we would buy things that we like....although it may be a little expensive...*laughs* mummy just bought me a LV bag for my birthday...that bag cost a hefty sum of SGD1,810!!! also...my love for men with car also came from my mummy...she once told me...she chose my dad because my dad drove!! *laughs* mummy also told me she was a frequent clubber when young...loves to dance and drink...me too!! but my mummy is a very very good drinker....she can easily dump 10 glasses of tequila neat and feel okay...while i "died" after 7....sighz...but mummy is very girly...loves to doll up and all...that i have to learn from her more....*grins*

Individuals #4 & 5

Name: not convenient to divulge...sorry...

Age: mid to late twenties...
Gender: male

What happened:

actually nothing happened...ha ha ha..just that i have these 2 friends...who simply cannot stay at home...*laughs* one finds that going home early on Friday is a very very sad thing...while the other finds that staying at home on Saturday is a very very sad situation...come on..it's not that sad to go home on Friday and stay home on Saturday..for me...i dont mind lazing around..and rotting...even to the extend of growing cobwebs around my arms or having my butt glued to the sofa or bed...just couldnt understand their preferences...*grins* but i can accept that....to each its own...

Individuals #6 & 7

Name: not very nice to say...

Age: early twenties...

Gender: female and male...

What happened:

actually nothing happened again..ha ha..was just reading their blogs and realized..both of them very very very very profound!!!! they wrote about stuffs..that actually make no sense to me...because i cannot understand....maybe i am stupid..but i think it's they're too profound..or to be more mean...POSERS!! *laughs* anyway i guess it's a different way of expressing oneself in a blog...i totally respect them for their philosophical thinkings!!

human beings...amazing...totally amazing....one kind of rice and you get all kinds of human beings...God is truly amazing to create mankind.......

hannah is blessed!!

i would like to thank all those who have sent their wishes and/or celebrated my birthday with me... MANY MANY MANY THANKS!!! to show my appreciation...shall make an official list *smilez*

MILLION THANKS to the following people:

Girls:
Secondary School Friends: Melissa, Guomei, Xiaoyun, Wendy, Christine, Meizhen
JC Friends: Sonya, Shujuan, Shaoyu
Colleagues: Jill, Florence, Venus, Nurfarhah, Sharon, Se Wai, Jace, Angeline, Wendyn, Faridah, Cheryl, Renuka, Henny, Yin Yin, Sofiah, Linda, Hui Hoon, May Ling, Lee Hong

University Friends: Caren, Adeline

Others: Huimin, Youling, Cathy

Boys:

Secondary School Friends: Kaifeng

JC Friends: Corey

University Friends: none (sad horz)

Colleagues: Ronald, Yong Soon, Kok Leong, Mani, John, Ronald Cheng, Kok Leong, Gary, Bill, Carl

Others: Ian, Melvin, Adrian, Kenneth, Zhixiang

Family Member:

Granny, Mummy, my 2 brothers, Uncle Ben, Uncle Joe, Uncle Joseph, Auntie Helen

so all in all...i have 54 birthday wishes!! mmm...think i am truly blessed...however, am quite disappointed that some of my friends actually forgotten about my birthday..and we are supposed to be quite close...*shrugs*

anyway....this year..i had 4 celebrations....*smilez* i guess i am truly loved and blessed...but didnt recieve much presents this year...*laughs*

Celebration #1

had dinner with my family on Saturday...went to this seafood restaurant....had a lot of nice food....shark's fins soup, crabs, steamed fish, vegetables, this mango-scallop dish, sweet & sour pork, fried udon and dessert....it was indeed a sumptous meal....truly enjoyed myself...afterwhich...we went bowling...*grins* it was quite interesting...am not a frequent bowler..and my average score was 80 (lousy right but who cares?)...

Celebration #2

after my dinner and bowling session with family on Saturday, i went Devil's Bar with caren and adeline...wanted to go Madam Wong but Caren preferred Devil's Bar...anyhow...it was rather interesting...crowded..but no hunks...many bar-tops dancers...but no babe...there's dirty dancing...*winks* very very very very entertaining...it was not a bad clubbing night...didnt drink a lot...had 2 beers, 1 tequila pop (the stupid waiter didnt give me something to pop it and i had to use my hand and in the end...it wasn't popped!) and some vodka ribena!

Celebration #3

went dinner and drinking with colleagues on monday...had dinner at this italian restaurant...thought the food was okay...although some commented not nice...ambience was okay...serving was quite big...colleagues gave me a treat...after which we went drinking at this Irish pub...ordered a bottle of tequila..and we made several shots...it was fun and interesting...when we were slightly high...but the best entertainment award has to go to Mr Lee...who entertained us truly with his attempt at smoking!! instead of sucking in the smoke, he was sucking in the air...it was so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so hilarious...all of us laughed till our sides hurt!!! also, this was the first time i see princess mel high...interesting...

Celebration #4

one of my bosses bought me a cake on tuesday...although it's late...but i think it's very sweet of her...it was a chocolate/banana cake...nice cake...they sang birthday song for me and almost everyone in the office get to eat a piece...here's my cake:

Happy Birthday!!!

yes yes..it's my BIRTHDAY today!!! I'm 24 this year!!! old right? what to do... i cannot reverse time... but anyhow..i think this year going to be a GREAT year for me!!! because i am truly blessed!!!

mmm..many people wished me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" today... very happy...felt very loved...thus far...including my family members....30 people has sent their wishes to me!!! roughly ah....mmm...let's see...will do a final count tomorrow...*grins*

by the way...i think i'm fated to drive a BMW....why? very simple...did you know... WE SHARE THE SAME BIRTH DATES!!! 7th March!!! *laughs*

tired day...

today is a very tired day...just feel so tired...it's not an extra busy day..but it's an extra tired day...dont know why..just tired...and as i typed...i can feel the tiredness overflowing my body....*tired* had my usual dosage of sleep...but somehow...just feel extremely lethargic today...

today is also a pee day for me.... went to the toilet to pee so many times...that i've lost count... and every time i pee..it's not drips of urine..but waterfall of urine...gushing out of my....never mind *laughs* had my usual dosage of water today...think my bladder may be faulty...about time to change....*laughs* as if can change...

mmm..too tired to continue...anyway...nothing much happen today...nothing interesting caught my eye...

MMMM....I WANT TO EAT PRATA!!!!!!! I WILL MARRY THE NEXT PERSON WHO BUYS AND DELIVERS THE PRATA TO MY HOUSE!!!!! *GRINS*

life is not finding yourself... it is creating yourself...

mmm...got this quote from a friend early one morning...think it's quite a quotable quote...not sure if i agree to it... but it somehow makes me wonder.... am i finding myself or creating myself?? if you ask me..i think creating oneself is much easier than finding oneself...because the creator can create whatever he/she likes or wants....on the other hand, finding oneself..it's pre-determined...*shrugs* dont know what i am talking about here...anyway..i prefer to strike a balance...i want to find and create myself!!! *laughs*

talking about quotes... for those who have been reading my blog would know that i was fascinated by the slogans our Singapore Army has come up with...FINALLY...managed to see all the slogans for the Singapore Army...*grins*

(1) Above self beyond duty

(2) From this land we are made... for this land we will fight

(3) Compromise is not an option

(4) Not for fame or fortune

(5) Leader Soldier Brother

(6) Commanding Respect... Respecting Command - MY FAVORITE

i've many thoughts...flashes of memories...pictures in my mind...but i'm not sure what should be penned what shouldnt be.... do i write like a mentally unsound and unstable person? *grins* shall just penned down what comes to my mind for the next 5 minutes...

(a) my favorite guy from office just left the company...he's a very nice guy...always enjoyed working and talking to him...never failed to provide joy and laughter to me...if he's not stably and happily attached..would have fallen in love with him...such a wonderful guy for me...*smilez* anyway...he found a better job with better money and prospects...wish him all the best.... *smilez*

(b) the managers/bosses in my office loves to compare the number of unread mails they have....weird..it's like..they will start every conversation with..."i have xxx unread mails..no time to read"...and the other will reply..."me too..i have xxx unread mails...oh god..." *laughs* is that how they relieve their stress? *shrugs* mmmm..maybe i should say that to start every conversation and it would alleviate my position to a manager? *laughs* anyway...i told another colleague and we both decided to compare the number of unread mails to make ourselves "become" bosses..and lo and behold..both of us have 0 unread mails...we have read all our mails! *laughs*

(c) my supervisor came and visit me today...and as usual..she said to me:" wah..you put on weight again!" *sighz* does she feel happier by saying that to me? well...if you ask me..i beg to differ...i would think it's she who has put on weight..which caused her eyes to expand horizontally and thus everything she sees become shorter and fatter!! *laughs* and people have agreed with me that she's getting fatter and i'm getting prettier!! anyway..never really like her....

(d) saw several not bad-looking guys around recently...in buses, in trains and along the road...not that they are good-looking..in fact..they are normal people..but somehow..i like the way they carry themselves...i like guys with good dress sense, style and must be charismatic...tall, dark and handsome guys are not my cups of tea *grins* actually neither am i theirs....*laughs* saw this guy in the train today...was sort of like attracted to the "style" he protrayed...*grins* dont mind having a boyfriend like that...

(e) was talking to bro and his girlfriend yesterday...and realized that it's their 1 year anniversary...wow..1 year already....they've been together..and i'm still single...*sighz* and i was lamenting that i dont have a prince charming and both of them gave me the unanimous answer :" YOU ARE TOO PICKY!" hey..that's not true...if you have read thus far, would realized that i only need someone with charisma...no need very very handsome horz...*laughs*

mmm...from my blog...can see that i'm a very systematic person right? *winks*