why do my jc teachers hate me?

feeling nostalgic...missed schooling days...and was just thinking about my jc times...and realize that my jc teachers kinda hate me...*laughs*

anyway, thinking back..my JC form teacher hated me...she's also my chinese teacher...not that i hate chinese..but this teacher of mine..she's really one of a kind...she's so in love with the boys in my class...she loves the boys so much that during lessons, she's always standing on the side of the classroom where the boys are seated...tsk tsk tsk...so one fine day, we decided to play a trick on her by switching sides...to see if she's just more inclined to stand on that certain side of the class of was it the boys...and true enough..it's the BOYS she's following!! *laughs* and the next lesson, we were cheekier...the girls were seated in the 1st row and the boys in the 2nd row and that did not stop her from "ignoring" our presence...*laughs* anyway, this teacher was always picking on me...during her lesson, she would always assumed that i'm not paying attention because i was always sitting in one corner and i seemed to be in the "sleeping in class" position...but i was actually listenting...so she would always try to surprise me or catch me offguard by suddenly asking me to answer questions....stupid auntie..but of course, she had failed terribly....because i was NOT sleeping at all....*grins*

the most infuriating incident occured in J2...it was the 1 month after the prelims and before the A levels...and this teacher of mine insisted all of us to attend school although there's no more lessons...i think the main reason was she wanted to see the BOYS everyday!! stupid auntie....anyway, there's this particular Friday, which i had decided to skip school and stayed at home to study....i didnt inform anyone except for one of my closer classmate...and the next morning, at 730am..i got a call from him...." hannah, teacher looking for you leh..asking why you never come to school..she's unhappy as a lot of people also skip school... " and true enough...10 mins later..i got a call from her...she instructed me to go to school immediately... okay fine..i bathed and dressed and took my own sweet time..and when i reached the school and saw her...
idiotic teacher: why didnt you come to school?
irritated me: not feeling very well...
idiotic teacher: then why the others also never come to school? (glaring at me)
irritated me: huh? how would i know why they didnt come? i'm not living with them and it's not as if i told them not to come! (me glared back)
idiotic teacher: oh.....
see how stupid this teacher can get....fucking stupid sia....she simply assumed that i instigated my classmates to skip school!! *mutter mutter*

and because i had long hair and i washed my hair every morning..i would not be able to tie it up till it's dry..and so i would go to school with slightly wet, untied hair...
idiotic teacher: hannah, coud you please tie up your hair...it's very messy...
irritated me: teacher, not that i dont want to tie it up...i washed my hair every morning and it's still wet so i cannot tie..
idiotic teacher: oh, then wash your hair at night..dont wash it in the morning...
irritated me: teacher, i wash my hair TWICE a day - night and day...
idiotic teacher: then you blow your hair before you come to school...
irritated me: teacher, no time to blow....wait i late how...okay lah..i will blow and tie...
i DONT see other teachers being so kaypoh..and i dont see her asking other girls to tie up their messy hair...she simply hates me...

then there was another JC teacher..my econs teacher...i think she grew to like me towards the end of JC2..maybe it's just my own wishful thinking..but i thought she had a better opinion of me...*laughs* well..she's the discipline mistress of our JC...and me, being the cheeky student...i had my hair dyed when i first entered JC....heehee and so that caught her attention and thus, she had been noticing my hair color...well..to get her off my back..i dyed my hair black...but 2 weeks later..my hair just automatically turned brown again...*sighz* and so she started nagging at me...and so i dyed my hair black again...and 2 weeks later..the hair turned brown and started nagging at me again....*sighz* so one fine day i told her...." teacher, look at this black dye that i have bought...today, i'm going home to dye my hair...2 weeks later...my hair will turn brown..you see for youself... " and so i dyed my hair black..and as usual..2 weeks later...it really turned brown...*laughs* and finally she believed me... actually she's a very good econs teacher...she's always so willing to teach me and all...but she always give me the "hannah you'll not do well for econs" look....*sighz* but anyhow, i turned out to be one of her "A" student...*grins* also, because i am not a very punctual student...she's also checking on my punctuality on a regular basis..but sadly, she had never succeeded in nailing me to perform community service for being late 3 times in a semester...*laughs*

and i had 2 maths teacher...both males..i took maths c and f maths...for maths c..i'm pretty okay..final score was a B..but for f maths....instaed of FURTHER MATHEMATICS...it's more like FAIL MATHEMATICS!! *laughs* final score for prelims was a F...anyway, there's nothing anything wrong with these 2 teachers, but they were pretty sarcastic...because i was not able to do well and was always scoring F...they seemed to be trying to piss me off by saying horrible and sarcastic things to me...the details i've forgotten but i do remember they were very sarcastic pigs...*laughs* but they didnt piss me off...because physics was a much worse subject for me...*laughs* but anyhow, they dont seemed very keen to teach me...whenever i asked them questions..i reckoned they think the questions i asked were kinda stupid and lame...but anyhow, i dont really care...*laughs* ultimately,i got an "A" and "B" for maths c and f maths respectively...think they must be shocked and almost fainted....

of course i have jc teachers who loooooooooove me...shall pen it down another time when i'm feeling nostalgic again...*smilez*

handsome guy!

yesh yesh....this is THE ONE...he's so damn damn good-looking...yeah yeah...one can say...." this picture bloody blur..how did you know he's good-looking?" but i was the one who took this picture...with the help of my phone...*grins* now i truly understand the need to have a camera phone...haha!

there's this ITMA going on in expo...and everyday there are tons of people at the normally ulu train station...so it's all BAU for me and colleagues...and when we reach the platform....i was looking around for handsome guys to oogle at...*laughs* and then suddenly i spotted him and this got the 3 of us all excited..okay okay...got me REALLY excited...and then i took out my camera phone and tried to take a picture of this gorgeous man...i took several shots but they were not good...and while i was trying to capture him..i reckon we made lots of noise...*laughs* then somehow...HE realized what i was doing...and he turned and smiled at me...*gasps* he was literally posing for me!! but because i was so damn happy and was giggling and trying to act as if i wasnt taking a picture of him...i shook and thus my picture turned out blurred...but it's still pretty obvious that he's a pretty boy!! *grins*

think i'm getting desperate and all...acting like some boy-crazy woman..but then again..it's kinda fun and hilarious to act crazy at times....i think i keep sane by acting insane...*smilez*

rooster or owl?

ARE YOU A ROOSTER OR AN OWL?

ROOSTER (as if it's not obvious enough hee hee)

OWL (again i think it's rather obvious..heehee)

am not going to give a "lecture" on the birds...am not a bird expert...mmm..actually is there anything called "birdology"? hee hee...anyway....got "inspired" to blog about this from some conversations and observations i had over the past few days....

i realized there are basically 2 types of people...the "owls" and the "roosters":

Owls -these people sleep in the wee hours of the night...it's not that they do not want to sleep...but basically they cannot sleep...even if they were to go to bed at like 12am...they would be tossing and turning...and so these people would generally sleep at 3am or even 4am...and wake up at 11am...and from what i observe, these people are normally surfing the internet during the wee hours...

Roosters - these people will go to sleep at 10pm...personally, 10pm is the time when i could have just reached home or just finished watching the tube..i seldom sleep that early..unless i am damn tired...and these people...miraculously can wake up at 6am..some 5am..and i have a friend who wakes up at 4am every WEEKDAY and 520am every WEEKEND!! holy cow...when i heard this i was telling her...there are some weekends when i actually slept at 530am!! *laughs*

so am i a rooster or an owl....frankly speaking..i am a mixture of both...so you can call me a Roowl or Owster!! *laughs* there are times when i do not sleep till the wee hours...and basically it's because i'm chatting on msn wiht my friends...and there are times when i sleep at 9pm simply because i am damn tired...but one thing for sure..i can NEVER wake up at 4am...*laughs* my earliest record is 530am..and the longest hours that i have slept - 17 hours! *laughs*

a fat hope...

does this sound familiar? *laughs* i think it doesnt...but if one were a stars war fan and have the intelligence of a mensa kid...one might be able to guess...anyway..it's been a looooooooooog time since i last bitched....and it's time to bitch again....and of course the target to bitch of - cellulite!! think i can start a hexalogy:

Episode 1 - Cellulite
Episode 2 - The Attack of the Cellulite
Episode 3 - The Revenge of the Cellulite
Episode 4 - A Fat Hope
Episode 5 - The Cellulite Strikes Out
Episode 6 - The Lost of the Cellulite

*laughs* amazing..have got the titles all out...just got to work on my creativity juices and also to see if cellulite pisses me enough to get me writing about her.....*grins* anyway, now that i'm writing episode 4....it shows that she has just pissed me off...

frankly speaking..i think she's damn bloody jealous of me...i dont know over what and why...but i got this very strong gut feeling that she is..and she's trying to leverage off me...taking advantage of me..the sweet, innocent me...*laughs*

recently, i find that she keeps insisting that i'am an easy woman....whoever and whatever give her that idea i have no bloody idea...maybe it got sparked off because i was casually flirting with 3 guys on one of our clubbing outings...there was this time..we went clubbing..and somehow i was exceptionally attractive that night and was able to flirt with 3 guys...and when i said flirt...i was merely dancing intimately with them..and maybe a little bit of touching here and there...but to her...she thinks that i'm touching and being touched by these guys and was inviting them under my skirt and my ultimate goal is to have raw and passionate sex with one of them...*laughs* but NOTHING happen!!! all i did was danced intimately with them and i only kissed one of them (oops)..i didnt invite them into my pussy or whatsoever...cant i do all these in the name of FUN?

and from then, she kept insisting that i'm okay with any fucking guys that flirted with me because i was flirting with these 3 guys whom she thought kinda the CMI type...for example, this was what she said to me: " hey..i just get to know this guy..can go clubbing together..although not your type..but i think you can becuase you can even flirt with the 3 guys.... " what the fuck!!! frankly speaking...one of them was alright...one of them was our friend - not good-looking but has a great bod and the last one was kinda CMI and i didnt initiate anything....so in what ways am i a loose woman? i am not stopping her from doing the same things..if she want and if she can..she can jolly do all these things..and i wont insist that she's desperate or loose...bloody bitch! if you ask me..i think she's plain jealous!! *grins* on so many clubbing trips with her.....she was NEVER ONCE approached by any guy...although she always have stories about guys approaching her...*grins*

i have also learnt my lesson about her and money..there was this time...we had dinner, drinks and clubbing..and thus we spent quite a bit..and because she didnt have ready cash and we were lazy to walk to the nearest ATM...i paid for her upfront....90 bucks...if you ask me...90 bucks is not little....and if i were to owe someone 90 bucks..i would want to pay back almost as soon as i can..but this lump of fats..refused to pay me...she said..." since we go clubbing rather often, i shall be your clubbing ATM "... *mutter mutter* and when i decided that i wanted to have my money back for my own convenience and i asked her for it....she simply refused to pay me back!!!

me: hey...you still owe me 90 bucks right? can you pay me back..kinda broke..going to eat grass soon..haha
her: how come so broke? you overspend again? what are you spending on?
me: huh? aiyah...i dont know lah...but i just want my money mah...
her: aiyoh...dont spend so much on clothings lah...save money
me: never spend that much already...so can return me my money?
her: *silence*

what the fuck..it's MY MONEY and she simply refused to pay me back!! she has MY MONEY at her convenience and she has the choice on how to spend the 90 bucks..but i have to spend my 90 bucks on clubbing with her..this is outrageous!! am so bloody angry.....now i still have 15 bucks with her....*sighz* see..i wasted 90 bucks just like that...*sighz*

and seriously speaking..i think she's jealous of me...she's jealous that i have nicer and better-looking guy friends...*laughs* she's jealous that my guy friends are rather cute and eligible and they are normally friends for keeps while hers are temporary and may not be as cute and eligible....*laughs* recently, she introduced this guy to me and another friend...someone she knew from some personals...the guy is not exactly eligible...decent looking, kinda boring, different frquencies...*laughs* and because of that...me and friend did not put on our best and friendliest behavior...and she sort of blamed us for being mean and all...oh PUH-LEESE...she herself said that he's just a friend..so why get so uptight?? she even said we scared the guy away and that guy is no longer contacting her....oh PUH-LEESE... as if she's really that fucking gorgeous that all guys will not be able to resist her...if you asked me..i think that guy may be disgusted at how she look and behave??!! *laughs* anyway she insisted that her this guy friend is so much more better than my guy friend...think she's in a state of serious denial...

she: who do you think is more eligible? my guy friend or hannah's guy friend?

friend: of course it's hannah's guy friend!!

she: no..i think it's mine....

friend: no lah..it's hannah's guy friend!!

she: no...i think it's mine...but you all scared him away...now he doesnt call me anymore...

friend: .......

*laughs* i think she's trying too hard...trying too hard to achieve whatever she wants...even a friend commented that whatever or whoever i want....she wants a piece of it...really have no idea what is she thinking of....anyway..all i can say is....FAT HOPE!! *laughs*

the wedding pianist

*singing* this is the day, this is the day, that the Lord hath made, that the Lord hath made, we will rejoice, we will rejoice, blah blah blah *grins* not sure of the lyrics anymore...so the song has to end abruptly...but then again..no one can actually hear it anyway...people reading this would most probably be singing in their head and they will most probably hear their voice rather than mine...*shrugs*

enough crap...basically, am getting really excited...this saturday...15 October 2005 is the day....is the BIG DAY....not that i'm getting married..but it's my FIRST TIME as the wedding pianinst!! *yeah* one can call me a virgin wedding pianist...sound rather crude sia....but then again..wedding and being a virgin are both sacred "events" of a girl's life right? *laughs* being crappy again...anyway...it's my friend's cousin's wedding...seemed rather distant...but i was very very happy that my friend actually approached me for help..because it would be amazingly great to "perform" for such a grand and sacred event...furthermore it's in a church..my first time playing for church...the feeling is simply astonishing!!!

actually i looooooooove weddings....my dream is NOT to be the bridesmaid...*grins* i want to be the.....*drum rolls* FLOWER GIRL!! guess i'm a little too big and old for that...but i really dont care...i want to be the flower girl..anyway...pincess mel has agreed to let me be the flower girl for her wedding...and she will get me all the nice flowers in my basket so that i wouldnt have to choose the flowers to throw...*laughs* am really looking forward to that day sia....*smilez*

basically, i have to played when the bride marches in...and have decided to played the famous "Wedding March"... and then am supposed to play 4 songs - "This is the Day", "How Could I Live", "The Gift of Knowing You" and "I'm Willing"(wo yuan yi) and finally when the bride and bridegroom goes out i have to play again...frankly speaking..didnt really practice enough...the lazy me is up to no good again..*laughs* must motivate myself to master the songs..wouldnt want to ruin a wonderful day for the couple...if not they might just hate me forever...*laughs*

actually other than the songs that i have to play..i have another problem...not exactly a problem..but i need to think of what to wear!!! *sighz* i seemed to have put on weight...actually i am always putting on weight...so i dont know what to wear...just asked and the color theme for the church wedding is pastel...think purple, pink and blue...and of all the colors...i dont have any dresses in these 3 colors...*sighz* time to go shopping!! but then again i might not have enough time to shop for the perfect dress..shall dig my wardrobe for the best outfit...and then it's the wedding dinner at night....not sure what to wear again...*sighz* aiyoh...so troublesome...can i go in my birthday suit? *laughs* think that would cause an earthquake...better not be a murderer....hahaha!!!

on a lighter note..i was just wondering..would there be hunks or eligible bachelors for me? *laughs* maybe hollywood can film something like "the wedding pianist" sort of like a sequel to "the wedding planner"? that would be interesting right? mmm...then i can be famous..and tom and i can be together openly...need not hide under the facade of the tom and kate story....*laughs*

by the way, i just did wakeboarding on sunday!! it's so damn bloody fun....think i shall make it a rather regular event for me..but cannot be too regular..as it's damn bloody expensive...but it's where you see all the hunks with bodies, money, cars and boats...*drools* and i think i'm rather talented...i managed to ride for quite a distance....although i'm also a virgin in wakeboarding!! *beams* well..i think it's time to set up my WDU - Wakeboarding Dating Unit!!! *laughs* anybody intersted??

bookroom..

recently have been reading quite a number of books...novels to be exact...mmm...maybe i am feeling lonely..need to escape reality and find solitary in books..in fantasies....*laughs* actually not really....i really loves to read...reading is a good way to pass time...time always seemed to fly when i am reading a good book...

i must say..reading is really a good hobby....i mean the only bad thing about reading is that one can spoil the eyesight...*laughs* this seemed to be the only bad thing about reading....okay..maybe another bad thing about reading is that the impressionable minds of the young can be easily influenced and bad habits, crimes, etc etc could be picked up and imitated....other than these 2..i think reading is really good..it helps one to relax, to be able to escape reality, to increase knowledge (if one is NOT reading novels), to enhance the language power (if one is not reading some singlish boooks), etc etc...so reading is a good habit...mmm...why do i think that i am like a librarian or an english teacher? *shrugs* a career opportunity? *laughs*

anyway, i dont have any favorite authors..basically, i like to read books on crime, fighting, adventure, mysteries....romance novels...initially it was quite interesting to read...but you read one..you read all..the storylines are always the same....always a hero saving a damsel in distress...then the damsel appeared to hate the hero..but deep down inside...she found him drop-dead gorgeous..and the hero would also find the damsel bloody beautiful..then as time passes...both were unable to contain their lust for each other and would have wonderful and amazing sex..and then some evil man would try to ruin something..and then blah blah....BORING!! *laughs* even the description of the sex scenes are almost identical...chest hair tickled the breast...round full breasts...deep passionate kiss...tongue thrasing kiss....arched her hips to meet his thrusts...*laughs* i think i can be a romance novel writer too....BORING!!!

i like books by this lady - Iris Johansen...very interesting..it's sort of like detective cum love story...nice plots and nice characters...also like John Saul...he writes books that are kinda sci-fi and all..very out of the world..but highly amazing...he can write stories about preserving brains of high IQ kids in some school and controlling them...controlling people by injecting them with molecules that would cling on the the DNA and blah blah...recently have been reading books by Dan Brown....very very interesting and highly entertaining....harry potter also my favorite...can always imagine all the spells, dragons, witches, charms..etc

actually, i have a habit of reading books that were produced in to movies...because i always feel that movies do not protray everything in the books...for example, i will never read Lord of the Ring if they didnt produce the movies...*laughs* i had to read that book because i felt very duhz after watching the first movie...which showed Frodo reaching this plateau...was so irritated that i went to buy the books and lo and behold..the books are so much better than the 3 movies..but of course...i like the casting of legolas...*laughs*

anyway...books are good..and i love reading....should anyone ask me what are my hobbies or interests..i would go ...I LOVE TO READ!! *laughs*

g-g-ghost?

while walking along orchard road on friday...this is what i saw:

this is what i saw along orchard road last friday with princess mel...we were shoppping in town and was walking out of cineleisure when a group of guys are busy capturing something with their mobile phone....and i followed the directions of their phone and found this ghostly figure standing there...*laughs* neither i nor princess melscreamed...we were really calm...we just stepped back and like any typical singaporeans...we stood around and see what he/she/it woud do...apparently nothing....just stood there...

we were wondering...which movie is he/she/it promoting?it's a smiliar gimmick pulled by some company some time back to promote the movie "the maid"...but this ghostly figure was really small-sized...and we begin to wonder if he/she/it was a kid, a woman or a man? how much is he/she/it paid to just stand there and look horrible? wonder if the clothes he/she/it was wearing stink? wonder if the wig stink or was it real hair? wonder if the face is pretty or ugly? i reckon should be the latter if not...would have been some magazines cover girl and not this ghostly puny figure along orchard road....gosh...he/she/it was really puny...

anyway, found out that this is not for some movie promotion...this is actually a game promotion...a new game to be launched official on 18 oct 05..it's call F.E.A.R. - First Encounter Assault Recon...*laughs* mmm..must say it's a rather good gimmick...by giving out brochures may not be enough to attract people to visit the website to find out more..but having this puny figure along the busiest street in singapore will trigger the kay-poh singaporeans to check out the website...and yeah...YOURS TRULY IS ONE DAMN KAY-POH SINGAPOREAN!!! *laughs*

anyway, for those who are interested to find out more....this is the website: www.fear.com.sg

mmm...think i can go to the developers and ask them to give me advertising fees...*laughs* but then again..i think this is what they hope to achieve...getting kaypoh singaporeans to talk about it and spread the word!! i must say....THIS MISSION IS ACCOMPLISHED!!

ERP charges - WTF???

ERP gantry gates have been around for quite some time..not sure how long...i'm not working for LTA sia...anyway..the main aim of the ERP fees is to prevent heavy traffic in the city area during peak hours...here was what i can remembered....the general EVOLUTION of the ERP system:

(1) ERP gantry gates were found along expressways and at entries to town and city area, operation times were in the morning...till1030am...

(2) ERP fees inceased and there were different rates at different times....

(3) not sure when it started but apparently ERP seemed to be in operation the WHOLE FUCKING DAY...the only time seemed to be 11am to 12pm...when cars are allowed to enter free and of course after 7pm...

(4) then they extended the ERP to weekends 12pm..and for those going AWAY from the city..they would need to pay as well...if you ask me...i thought this was fucking illogical!!!

(5) recently, i heard that the ERP will be in operation during weekends till 8pm!!!

frankly speaking..i really wonder does it REALLY help with the heavy congestion of the traffic? maybe it could deter some car owners from using the major expressways..but this in turn will cause conjestion along the minor roads...so in what ways have this stupid ERP help with the congestion of traffic???

also, by extending the ERP operation times to 8pm during the weekend...how does it help with traffic conjestion? on weekends..who will go town? the young, the working class, the families...who actually drives? half of the working class and the families right? the young - they are young and so no license no cars....so will most probably take the public transport...the working class - these are the people without familes...and hence the probability of them driving is rather low...so again.most probably will take the public transport..the families - who in the right mind will take the public transport when the dad has to hold the hands of primary school kid, the mum has to carry the 6-months old baby and the maid has to carry the stuffs? so with or without the ERP...they will still fucking drive to town...HENCE, HOW IN THE WORLD DID THE GOVERNMENT THINK THAT EXTENSION OF THE ERP OPERATIONS WILL HELP WITH THE HEAVY TRAFFIC IN TOWN?

if they want people to take the public transport...WHY in the world did they raise the fees of the public transport? WHY? is the governement really that hard up for $$$? thought we have enough surplus and not running any deficit?? are singaporeans reallly that bloody rich??? actually come to think of it..i think singaporeans are rather rich....if one walked along the streets over the weekend...within 30 minutes..i sincerely believe that one would be able to notice that out of 10 cars, 5 of them are BMWs!!!

tsk tsk tsk....what makes the government think that money can solve all problems??? or maybe the government has no solutions that they can only resort to money to hope to solve the problems??? tsk tsk tsk...USELESS PIGS!!!

Zen Katha

zen katha - a play about the founder of ZEN... it's a play by the indians...the producer, writer, actors..all hail from indian...and apparently they were very famous...but to me they are strangers...strangers whom i will not take a second look at all...*laughs*

anyway....caught this play last evening at the victoria concert hall...uncle's business people had free tickets and he brought me along...*grins* was kinda happy because the guy who provided the tickets is the same guy who provided the diana krall's tickets and from my memory....he's ATTRACTIVE!!! *laughs* so was kinda excited that am going to see him again!!!

actually, there were some light refreshments and drinks served at indochine before the play..but because uncle and i had hor fun ( mmm..it seemed kinda duhz to have hor fun...but my uncle is a very chinese man...he LOVES chinese food...i could remember when i went to the states with him 5 years agao..we ALWAYS had chinese food... ) for dinner and so we decided to give that a miss...*sighz* missed my chance to see the cute guy...but anyhow..it's alright...dont really feel comfy with all those high-flying people..who are earning millions in minutes..while me will most probably earn millions in my dreams...*laughs*

so we headed straight to victorial concert hall and upon arriving...for a moment i thought i have reached INDIA!! *laughs* yes...the place is infiltrated with indians...all kinds of indians..the white ones, the black ones, the old ones, the young ones, the hip ones, the traditional ones, the smart-looking ones, the ugly-looking ones....lucky no smell..if not i think i will faint....*laughs* and my uncle was commenting..." wah..these indians really support their own people ah...interesting!! "

anyway, the tickets were rather premium..and we were seated at the 7th row from the stage..and in the center..not too bad...and was just looking around while waiting for the play to start and suddenly...my ATTRACTIVE guy appeared and my heart skipped a beat (as if!) *laughs* but somehow, he's not that cute anymore...maybe previously i saw him in balaclava where it was darker...*laughs* but anyhow...he's got a nice build..the height and build is simply PERFECT for me...plus his career and charisma....PERFECT!! and guess what? his seat is next to me!! *laughs* so for the 105 mins, i was sitted beside my ATTRACTIVE guy!! tried to take a picture of him with my phone but failed...*laughs*

anyway, my uncle and him chatted a bit...and when he saw me..he said..."hey..nice to meet you AGAIN"...he used the word "AGAIN" ....does it mean he remember me? *laughs laughs laughs* he ACTUALLY remember me??? *laughs laughs laughs* or was it just a slip of tongue? but how often do people slip in such manner? not very often right....so i'm right....HE REMEMBERS ME!! *grins grins grins* wanted very much to chat up with him..but with uncle beside me..kinda hard right..and my uncle kept telling me that he's a playboy and he leads an unhealthy lifestyle...aiyoh...i'm NOT (although i dont mind ) marrying him sia...but i seriously dont mind being one of his flings...*laughs*

ooh...about the play....if you asked me..i dont really like it...the indian accent is so damn bloody strong and they were talking so damn bloody fast that i have difficulties understanding them...and the sound system seemed faulty as there were some parts where it didnt sound audible at all...as for the play...i must say i was not intrigued by it...there seemed to be breakages and the story didnt seemed to flow...the costumes were not nice...the props were kinda lousy..the music not too bad...the actors and actresses looked alike...*laughs* if this was done by our local people...i think it would be fucking good...i must say...our local theatre talents are damn fucking talented....watched several of their plays and all were good...amazing..fantastic!!! there were many scenes where i couldnt catch what the actors were saying..and so i just watched the meagre props and actions they had...and the jokes were kinda lame and inaudible....

but i did learn something from this play....i learnt why monks greet each other with only their right hand in front of them...it's because...there's this monk...who very much wants to learn from the zen master...but the zen master refused to see him (which i dont know why) and so told him that he would see him the moment they snow turned red (which i thought was rather lame)..and so in order to turn the snow red..this monk chopped off his left hand and used his blood to turn the snow red (which i thought was damn stupid..can use chicken, pig, duck blood right? chop off own hand...stupid man)..and because of this, the master of zen was very touched and thus he set the rule that they shall greet each other with only the right hand (quite bullshitty if you ask me)...actually i seriously wonder if ths is true...but anyhow..thought this was the most interesting thing about the play....*laughs*

sick!

i am so damn bloody sick...i am not suffering from any illness...unless one considered the "OC Withdrawal Disease" an illness...*laughs* anyway...i am basically sick of my work...sick of the people i am working FOR..not WITH...it's so fucking sickening to work under people you hate..or rather DETEST is a better word...

my first thought was not very good ....i must admit i did not have a good impression of her initially..becuase i thought she reminds me of my econs teacher (laughs) and she seemed very auntie and all...but then after a while...i had second thoughts...she seeemd to be quite alright...knowing what she's doing and all...now am having my third thoughts...SHE SUCKS! put it simply...she's horrible..she damn bloody bochup...whenver i ask her for some directions or guidance..she will smoke her way through and no conclusion made...what the fuck loh...i mean if i have the decision making power and all..i would not have to ask for her fucking opinion or decision right? then if anything goes wrong...whose fault?? who else?? ME!! frankly speaking...this is the 1st time i felt lost...lost as in i have no bloody idea what is going on but yet i have to do all the fucking rubbish...

then this stupid bitch has to pair me up with the useless auntie...this is like the million times i have to complain about this useless auntie...even had 2 entries "dedicated" to her...fucking hell...*laughs* but seriously speaking....this auntie has NO value-add to anything at all..what does she do all day long? whenver i look for her..she's either....(1) on the phone or (2) never at her desk...where the hell is she? gossiping with some other people....so why in the world did the management keep this kind of parasite? i have been very "nice" to her already...for the task that i have been assigned to do with her..i did all the work and let her wayang in front of boss...because i simply CANNOT BE BOTHERED anymore...

because this task has to do with some human resource management and so it involves the HR person...and this useless HR person..is forever bugging me for information....PUH-LEESE...as a HR person..shouldnt she have a list of who's who in the team?shouldnt she know who's who in the team? this is HR job...but this fucking HR person has no bloody view of that AT ALL...so what has she been doing? no value-add again but management still want to keep her...think management has a liking for parasite...*mutter mutter* but in Hong Kong, it's a different story...when i told my counterpart about the HR plan and all..she went to talk to the HR person and that lady agreed with the plan and even offered to take a lead in this exercise!! this is WHAT a HR person should do, isnt it? bloody useless HR person...

and again because i have agreed to the useless boss that i would like to take up new challenges and thus she assigned me this resource management task..and this other person simply announced to the whole fucking world that I will be the focal point and all...okay..that's fine with me..but no one seemed to have any fucking idea what is going on....and no one seemed to care...was supposed to do some reporting to country and everyone went to the briefing and asked relevant questions..but it came to the actual manual work of the reporting...NO ONE seemed to be doing it..so i took the initiative and asked the useless boss: AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS? and useless boss replied: AM STILL CLARIFYING...okay fine...shall wait..but no reply from her...so i again took the initiative to fill up the template with whatever info i have and gave it to her: BOSS, I HAVE DONE MY BEST TO FILL UP WHATEVER I CAN...DO YOU NEED TO GET SOMEONE TO VERIFY BEFORE I SUBMIT? NOT SURE IF IT'S FILLED UP CORRECTLY...and useless boss can say: IF IT'S FROM XXXX, THEN IT SHOULD BE ALRIGHT.... what the hell does she mean? see...she doesnt even care...so if she doesnt care...why should i? and so i submitted and now they came back with problems and questions which no one has any bloody idea..and who's got to recitfy it? ME!! bloody hell...

seriously..this is getting too much to handle for me...i dont mind doing more work or not getting any proper training for new tasks..but the least these managers could do is to provide some simple guidance or direction...at least tell me what the fuck they want and all....this is really bad....damn fucking bad....

Dear almighty God, please help me to get out of this living hell...AMEN!!

the OC withdrawal disease...

my favorite show - THE OC has just ended...season 2 has just ended on 22 Sep 05...now i have one less show to watch....*sighz* really hope to catch season 3 really soon...i'm such a BIG OC fan that i think i have contracted the OC withdrawal disease..*laughs*

therefore, i will try to create my own - THE SG...*laughs* let me see if i can "cast" the people around me into this "new drama" to "cure" my OC withdrawal symptons...

From Bottom to Top: Seth (Adam Brody), Summer (Rachel Bilson), Sandy (Peter Gallagher), Marissa (Mischa Burton), Jimmy (Tate Donovan) , Julie (Melinda Clarke), Ryan (Benjamin Mckenzie), Caleb (Alan Dale) and Kirsten (Kelly Rowan).

Seth -think my brother can fit the bill...although Seth is tall and lean..and my brother is not so tall and not so lean..but both of them loves comic!! *laughs* think my brother really the girlfriend and so do Seth...

Summer - this has to go to my brother's girlfriend...although they have nothing in common...*laughs* ok ok..both of them are nice and cute..and loves their boyfriends! *laughs*

Ryan - because i think i am going to be Marissa because i LOVE ryan...so this person is TBD...*laughs* havent found a suitable guy for myself yet...hopefully this person can come soon and hopefully he's as juicy as ryan...*dreaming*

Marrisa - ME, MYSELF and I!! hahaha..the main reason i want to be her is because of RYAN...i love ryan..he's so charming...so cute..although seemed a little short and bulky..but i like..his eyes are so damn piercing..his smile is cute..his hair is perfect..and all...*sighz* anyway....Marissa got a tattoo and so do i!! *laughs* although she's pretty and slim and i'm so totally opposite..i dont care!!! *laughs*

Sandy - this will be my dark lover...actually my dark lover is NOTHING like sandy..sandy is cool and matured..always in control..my dark lover like totally opposite..but because sandy loved the wife very much and so does my dark lover...and so...hahahahahaha!!!

Kirsten - no choice...but to give this to my dark lover's wife..although i think kirsten is smart and pretty....but the wife like...eh..shall not comment...*laughs* but because kirsten loves sandy and the wife loves dark lover...and so....hahahahahahahaha!!! bo bian....

Caleb - mmm..this is kinda hard to find...because caleb doesnt really matter to me...*laughs* although he's kinda selfish at times..but yet alright at times...then he like very "dark"..always got spies here and there...mmm...i think mr mun shall be the one...*laughs* because mr mun always seemed to have secrets...

Jimmy - "my dad"...mmm..must get a handsome one...*laughs* no one around me seemed to fit him...a fatherly figure....mmm...think maybe can get mr liew...because he's very fatherly!! yes yes...and he and jimmy same..always running away...*laughs*

Julie - the perfect person would be "cellulite"...*laughs* always ever so materialistic and always so full of herself....but of course..Julie is MUCH prettier and her tummy is smaller...*laughs* mmm..come to think of it..this is so damn apt...both Julie and "cellulite" seemed to be horrible women but they can be nice ladies too....wonder if "cellulite" has a porn tape with some ah bengs...*laughs*

not bad not bad...can actually form THE SG...just imagine...with THE OC...the opening music is..."de de de de de....de de de de de.... de de de de de de de...CALIFORNIA" and THE SG will have...."de de de de de de de de.....MARI KITA RAHYAK SINGAPURA"...*laughs*

think my OC withdrawal disease is getting worse....

things i have to learn...

there are many things to learn in life....life is like a learning process...in every phase of our life, we are learning something about the things around us, about the people around us, about who we really are...24 years of learning...i think i have learnt several important and useful lessons....but there are also many things in life i've yet to learnt...

i think i have to learn to accept changes more quickly...not that i am not flexible...but i think i have to learn to accept changes in a shorter span of time...the transition period has to be shorter...think am taking too long to get over certain changes...some changes i can accept and adapt myself rather easily and quickly, some will take a longer time...but i HAVE to learn to accept and adapt to ALL changes in the shortest time possible....yes, very important thing to learn at this moment...

after learning how to accept changes, i think the next step i have to learn is to let go...letting go is never easy..especially if it's something you have been holding on dearly for ages...however, am not sure what i have to let go...*laughs* but i guess i have to learn to do that....maybe it's not required at this moment..but in times to come..i think this should be useful...*laughs* maybe it's time to let go of some issues that have always been hidden deep within me...i think i am someone who can forgive and cannot forget...*sighz* as in..if someone actually has offend me or has hurt me...although i may have seemed alright..but deep deep down inside..i will ALWAYS REMEMBER what wrong that person has done to me...this is bad...must learn to let go...life's too short to harp on such things....

mmm....i must learn to curb my spending...every month i seemed to be in deficit...if this continues, my economy will sink into depression which is very bad....although i keep track of what i spend every month..but i realize i am still spending a lot....*laughs* every month, i will buy tons and tons of things...clothes, shoes, bags, whatever whatever.....this is bad...very very bad...seriously speaking..i dont know why my money is always not enough....how i wish i have unlimited funds...*sighz* anyone kind enough to donate $$$ to me? for $5 dollars donation, please call9739 3XXX... for $10 dollars donation, please call 97593XXX...for $50 donation, please call 9759 3XXX...*laughs* please drop me a comment if you are REALLY donating and i will give you the full number....no worries, i have no golden tap and i do not travel on 1st class...

i must also learn to impress people....i think i always give people the "crazy" impression...seriously speaking..i can be rather sensible and all..but i dont know why...EVERYONE just deemed me as crazy...but anyhow, i must NOT give my future employers this kind of impression..i have to tell my future employers that i am the 3 "D"s - driven, dynamic and dedicated!! *laughs* in order to climb up the corporate ladder, i have to do what a woman's got to do....mmmm..maybe i should slim down, doll myself up and flirt / sleep my way up??!!! NO WAY!!! joking joking..i am not a whore okay....but anyhow, i think it's time for me to be more aggressive...to really carve my career path...yesh yesh yesh...

color pencils...

i couldnt believe it myself...this is what i bought over the weekend...*laughs* i spent a hefty sum of 128 dollars on these items....*sighz* got to eat air already....no money to even eat grass....*laughs* for people who knows me...I NEVER PUT ON MAKE-UP!!!



went shopping with a good friend....our aim was to buy cosmetics...because i never had any at all....although i have started working 2 years..i have NEVER put colors on my face..because (1) i have no idea how to and (2) i am plain lazy...although i spent $$$ on these....i got a very very strong feeling...these will last me for a few years...as (1) i still have no idea how to and (2) i am still plain lazy....hahahahaha...

actually, didnt intend to buy this brand...was just thinking of buying some cheapo brand...because i'm just a beginner..but somehow...as me and friend walked along....just decided anna sui is the brand....as i love the case....so damn bloody glamourous...

maybe i should just color my face on one of these days and go to work and shocked my colleagues!! *laughs* that would be a good way to make the monday blues go away....*grins*

by the way, when the salesgirl colored my face, my friend was very excited...she kept saying "nice nice, cute cute, i like i like"...but to me...it's not exactly that nice and that cute sia...but in the end..i still buy the color pencils...*laughs*

but the salesgirl quite nice....*grins* she's very young...and she helped to give me advice and all...and she thought i look like a doll...hahahaha...but actually horz...i think i look more like chucky's bride!! *laughs* i think my complexion is so sucky and no amount of coloring can help sia...but i reckon that's normal...*winks*

let's see when i will actually color my face..maybe i can post "before" and "after" pictures....oh my god...i think i am getting more and more girly and vain...tsk tsk...losing myself...

people...

think i have posted a similiar entry...think the title is called "human beings"...suddenly my inspirations for human beings are here again...

person#1
age: 20 (very young right...jealous)
sex: female
this little girl is from my office..she's very young...a fresh graduate from poly...she is a clown...*laughs* no offence to her...but indeed she's one hilarious girl...at times...she dresses like a clown...you can see her wearing black tops, green skirt and pink shoes...*laughs* then her bags would be totally out as well....then this little girl is running on 128mb only...she's damn slow...her server is always not responding...she always have to take extra time and effort to understand what the rest of us are talking about...*laughs* at times..i really wonder...IS SHE REALLY THAT SLOW? or IS SHE ACTING CUTE? anyhow, am giving her the benefit of doubt....she's also very nice girl...always helping others...and then when witches bully her..she will complain and then after a while...she still does what witches tell her to...*sighz* given such situation of course witches will bully her right...tsk tsk...also, she's kinda blur as well.....this is kinda linked to her slowness..which again i wonder...IS SHE REALLY THAT BLUR? or IS SHE ACTING CUTE AGAIN? *laughs* anyway...am still giving her the benefit of doubt..as she's a nice girl....*smilez*

person #2
age: 24 (same age as me...)
sex: female
this is an old friend of mine....knew her since secondary school..but not quite close...anyway...she recently just changed job....lucky her...good company...and she was telling me she had some "shocks" that she had...she said she's shocked that some of her colleagues are social smoker!!! when she told me this..i was shocked as well...*laughs* mmm...what's so shocking? i really wonder..then she was telling me she had culture shock..she's shocked that her new office is lacking the humane touch...she sprained her ankle and she's shocked or rather sad that NO ONE in her office offered to buy lunch for her...OH MY GOD!!! is she hailing from outer space? seriously speaking..i was shocked to think that she had such shocks...i mean basically, i thought these are VERY COMMON..pardon my rudeness but i seriously felt that she's being so naive and all...*laughs* was getting slightly exasperated when she told me these via msn..almost wanted to "strangle" her...*laughs*

person #3
age: 30s (dont really know her age as she refused to tell)
sex: female
she's from my office as well....working in another team...am princess mel's best friend...if you asked me..i think she's rather auntie...always nagging at the other team members...nagging at other people...WHY YOU COUGH UNTIL LIKE THAT AND NOT CONSULT A DOCTOER? WHY YOU DONT REBOND YOUR HAIR? kaoz...why so kay-poh? mother hen ah? then she's always acting like she knows EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD....but according to princess mel..she does know..but then again...she's princess mel's best friend..so i reckon she might side her slightly..but anyhow...i realize that if a topic is brought up during lunch..she will always have comments, stories or whatsoever..maybe she's really MS-KNOW-ALL...*shrugs* but i think she's very "gan"..like she's always scheming against everyone all the time...just a feeling that she's not that simple...but not that i really care..but somehow...never mind...shall just keep a safe distance away from her....since she's so "gan" cannot afford to "offend" her....but then again..as if i really give a fuck...*laughs*

person #4

age: not sure....*laughs*

sex: female

this is a new-found friend....she's a friend's friend...got to know her this year...we were the friend's "sister gang"...anyway...we started to email each other during office hours to kill our time...although we are not exactly that free...but our conversation got very interesting...we were practically talking about every single fucking thing under the sun...which is very cool...and she's one very interesting lady..i must say...i thought she's too independent...or rather..she used the word "complicated" on herself...somehow, when she tells me stories about her and hubby..i find that she's like the man - strong and chauvinistic...while the hubby also another man - stubborn but sensitive...*laughs* gay relationship? *laughs* it's like there are certain things which i thought she's rather "hurting" towards her hubby but to her...she doenst really give a damn...*shrugs* but she's a very very nice friend to talk to..we always talk "dirty" and exchange juicy information...*laughs* and she's always very encouraging towards me...*laughs* she's ALWAYS reassuring that i am pretty!!! and she said i look like a korean!! *grins* and she's always complimenting me....so paiseh..but i thought she sounds sincere..hahaha..and yeah..i'm on cloud 9 after hearing all that....*laughs*

mmm...cannot think of anyone else to comment....looking back...these 4 are all females...mmm....why? am i more critical towards the same species because i tend to judge them more as i myself am a girl? MAYBE..or am i not meeting enough guys? I THINK SO...*sob sob* or am i jealous of them? DONT THINK SO LOH...

actually i am always criticizing others..i think it's time to reflect on myself....WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I?

WHO AM I?????

it's a baby girl...

attended a wedding in December 2004...flew all the way to the Phillipines with some friends to attend an ex-colleague's wedding...actually i would rather regard him as a friend...in fact he's like a daddy to me..always taking care of me..always there for me....ever so nice and fuddy....*laughs* PAPA CARL is what i call him...not that he's a pastor or reverend...but just that i would love to have a daddy like him...*laughs*

anyway...after the wedding he went to new zealand for honeymoon...or was it canada? anyway..it doesnt really matter....*laughs* he went on a 1 month honeymoon trip....so envious....and he came back with good news..his wifey is pregnant!! *laughs* very efficient sia....and maybe he didnt practice birth control as heard that it's not encouraged among the catholics...*grins*

well..recently another good news...a baby girl was born....not sure when...but only know it's recently..*laughs* the baby girl has such a nice name...very princessy...very girly...ANDREA NICOLE UY...so nice and sweet right....think she will grow up to be very pretty and lovable...

pervert - help!

since jc 1...i've always had this pervert calling me...how i get to acquaint myself with this pervert is kinda silly...

it was a normal day..i was just lazing around..and then my brother said there's a call for me..picking up the phone, i thought i heard a familiar voice..and so i chatted with him..assuming that he's my friend...after a few minutes of so..he started to ask very personal and sexual questions..and then i "woke up"...
me: eh...why you ask such questions? are you xxx?
pervert: sorry...i am not your friend...but i would like to be your friend
me: huh? how did you get my number and my name?
pervet: i dont know your name..i just tried my luck..dialed a number and ask for the sister..i was lucky
*bish* what the fuck...like that also can...

anyway..this is just the beginning...after that he keeps calling me!! and he ALWAYS ask very personal and sexual questions like: ARE YOU A VIRGIN? DO YOU MASTURBATE? DO YOU HAVE ORGASMS? HOW DO YOU SATISFY YOURSELF WHEN YOU HAVE THE NEED...and i always have the standard answers to his questions: (a) NO (b) NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS (c) NOT TELLING YOU (d) ALL OF THE ABOVE! it's really really irritating...he always asking the same questions...every phone call that he made to me..he will ask the same questions....which part of (a), (b), (c) and (d) does he not understand?

and this pervert...always think telling me that he's willing to pay if i'm willing to "service" him...what he meant was...go out with him, exchanged kisses, pet, etc etc..and he always promised that if i am not comfortable..there would be no sex...but in the first place...i am NOT EVEN COMFORTABLE TALKING TO HIM!! every phonecall that we had...i am ALWAYS hostile and rude...not displaying any interests...am always doing something..and phone is always running low battery...in order to stop talking to him...and to his offers..i would always give the same answer: NEVER! but no matter many times i have to repreat my self..this fucking idiot will always offer me the same deal..telling me he's willing to pay more..telling me i'm very cool and he really wants me...WHAT THE FUCK!! makes me puke!! he even offered to sponsor a trip to hong kong for me on my birthday....BUT i am not a prostitute!!!

all along...i never knew his name..didnt bother to find out or remember...and he had been telling me that his girlfriend is an air stewardess..which is why he was able to find other partners..and that he's rather handsome..*puke* recently, suddenly he told me..he's actually married with 1 kid!! but because after giving birth to the child, his wife was too weak to have sex with him and because he's a horny bastard..he had to look for other sex partners...what the fuck...he expect me to believe him...3 words - WAIT LONG LONG!! i told him..if he's really so horny..go geylang..there are plenty to choose from and they are all experienced...*laughs* and he told me some rubbish about protecting the family or whatsoever crap...BULLSHIT!!

however, there's one funny incident...there was this time..i was ironing my uniform...and this bastard called..and he said..he's feeling damn horny and all and wanted to meet me and all...and as usual..i gave the standard answers..*yawn* and he suggested PHONE SEX...and i gave the standard answers again..*yawn* but he ignored that and started the process...so he was trying to sound sexy and husky and trying to make me high and all..while i was ironing my uniform...OBVIOUSLY i was paying attention...occasionally i went..."hmmm" to indicate my presence..but in actual fact the phone was on the table while i happily iron my clothes..*laughs* after 5 mins or so..i just hung up the phone...*laughs* and he obviously called back and i said this: sorry, my mum's home and my cordless phone has went dead...so cant talk..bye! *laughs* and to think that he ACTUALLY wanted to pay me for this "service" that i had provided..which i declined..although my friend said..i should have given him my bank account and earn easy bucks by making silly noises..but i dont feel comfy about it...*shrugs*

recently, he had been calling and pestering me to meet him...i am getting very very irritated..have been very very rude to him...telling him to stop dreaming and saying all the bad things to him..but somehow, he persisted and insisted....CAN ANYONE HELP ME TO GET RID OF HIM?

the piano exam

finally went for my piano exam...my scheduled time is 145pm and the venue is a music school at katong mall...i woke up at around 10am...was contemplating if i should go for a swim before going...thought of relaxing by the pool...in the end..i decided to practice one last time instead of the swim...*laughs*

anyway, my teacher told me there isnt a need to wear formal...and so i decided to wear something comfortable...i ended up in jeans...*laughs* wanted to wear pants and shirt...but i dont wanna wear heels as that would be difficult for me to press the pedal...and i couldnt take off my shoes..and so i ended up in a blouse and jeans!!!

anyway, took a cab to the destination...as was too lazy to take the bus....so i reached there around 115pm...no one was around...the situation was rather tense...suddenly the steward appeared...she's an old lady..actually not old..but look like a granny to me...*laughs* she's rather chatty and quite nice...talked to me and tried to calm me down...but as the minutes ticked by...it's getting harder and harder for me to be relaxed and all...

finally, it's time to go in...there's 2 examiners...one is called Peter XXX and the other Ian XXX...*laughs* couldnt really catch their names...very nice gentlemen...very approachable...asked me to make myself comfortable...and in my mind i was like..."how to?unless you let me pass the exams without me doing anything!!" *laughs* anyway...went to the grand piano and played for them...basically, i thought i did alright..becuase i didnt make much mistakes...only a few here and there...and i tried to put in feelings and style to my playing..but i think still fail....*laughs*

after the "performing"...i had to have a "little chat" with the examiners...basically on the 4 pieces that i played...throughout the converstaion..the only conclusion i could made was: I HAVE FUCKING GOOD BULLSHITTING SKILLS... *laughs* i was basically bullshitting whatever they asked me....and among all my bullshit..i think here's the classic:

examiner: why do you think Mozart compsed such variations?

me: for fun?

examiner: *laughs* well..he could be watching soccer and composed the variation but any other reasons for composing variation?

me: basically, Mozart wrote this variation for his admiration for Duport...and he sort of like played with the notes and all for this variation as this variation is not very typical of him..which is why i said he composed this variation for fun...

*laughs* told you my bullshitting skills are fucking good!! am so proud of myself...

all in all, i thought i did alright for the exams...hopefully i can pass...so must pray a lot and keep my fingers cross till they are fractured!!! *laughs* by the way, a lot of people wished me good luck...so touched....THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! even the most unlikely person messaged me to wish me luck!! and my student actually called me and said..." teacher hannah, good luck for your exam!" wah....touched sia....but all in all..i think GOD helped me the most!!! *smilez*

piano exam

the date has been set....6th September 2005 is my doom day...this is the day when i will take my diploma in piano performance exam...seriously speaking..i really wonder why did i choose to take this exam...because (1) i am NOT going to be a performer and (2) i am SO FUCKING bad at the piano....*laughs* but anyhow, i have paid 450 bucks for the exams and so i will have to give it a shot...

anyway...the whole format of the exam is something like this: i will have to play 4 pieces - one from each period...and then i will have a sight-reading which is a grade 6 piece of music and viva voce...where the 2 examiners will talk to me about the 4 pieces that i have performed..all these will take 1 hour plus....kaoz....i paid so much to undergo so much stress....rather ironic right?

here's what i will be performing:

2 Sonatas in A - Domenico Scarlatti (1685 – 1757)

this is a piece from the baroque period...the 17th centery...not a difficult piece..am quite confident of this piece but hopefully i wont screw up by playing the wrong notes or whatsoever... this will be the very 1st music that i will be playing for the examiners..so must leave good impression...

10 Variations on a Minuet by Duport - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756 – 1791)

from the classical period...the 18th century...quite a melodious piece of music...but many running notes...and under exam circumstances...i will surely FAIL to play the running notes accurately...sighz...but never mind..hopefully i can smoke my way through..which i think is rather difficult....*laughs*

Impromptu in G-flat - Franz Schubert

my least prepared piece..because i only learnt this music for a few months....am really lousy with music from the romantic perios...the 19th century..am not musical enough to bring out the music and all...no feelings...the only feeling i got for this music is DIFFICULT...*laughs* so i protrayed that feeling and style and my teacher told me it's wrong....but how? cannot means cannot lah....sighz...

6 Dances in Bulgarian Rhythm from “Mikrokosmos” - Bela Bartok (1881 – 1945)

this is the so-called modern music...from the 20th century...very erratic playing..no melody...tons of banging...till my hands and arms ache...guess i am really lousy...if wrong notes are played..never mind..becuase the music sounded disonance...*laughs* i likee....but got to play damn fast..and must flip pages...if fail to do that...music will break down..then i die....sighz...

for this exam....i took 3 days leave to prepare....and i practice like almost 5 hours daily...actually this i not enough...but according to my standard..i have played more than what i normally played...but i still think my performance sucks...like what my teacher always comment: NO STYLE, NO FEELINGS aiyah..i tried my best already..i am not a born performer....i cannot perform..will have stage fright sia...and tomorrow's exam is literally on a stage..in a recital hall on the grand piano....actually having dilemna now....WHAT SHALL I WEAR TOMORROW?? *laughs*

anyway, i need tons of praying to help me....but i still think that i am going to fail this exam....as i think i am not a performer....sighz...quite stupid of me to pay the Associated Board of Royal School of Music to fly in 2 British to fail me....*laughs*

well..may the Lord Almighty bless me....wish me good luck people...

superstar winner sucks big time...

the winner of the 2005 project superstar has just emerged...and the winner is the blind man!!!! fucking hell if you ask me...i hated the blind man...okay..maybe "hate" is too strong...i simply dont think the blind man is a superstar!!! how the fuck did he win??

actually i have NEVER watched a single episode of this project superstar...because (1) i do not really listen to chinese pop and hence wouldnt know what songs they were singing and (2) the timings simply dont suit my schedule...*laughs* but since tonight was the finale....i have decided to jump onto the bandwagon and watched it...*grins*

basically, i thought the girl was better....her name is kelly...apparently she's an air stewardess with Singapore Airlines...and come to think of it...she has that singapore girl look...*laughs* HOWEVER, this is not a compliment neither is it an insult...her voice is alright..quite nice...but she has very good stage presence...in mandarin is called "tai (2) feng(1) "...her voice may not be fantastic but she's entertaining...

as for the blind man...his name is kelvin...apparently he's blind...not sure if it's both eyes or 1 eye..and apparently he's an undergrad from NUS...and apparently he performed along the streets of orchard road...anyway i dont think he has a nice voice..his voice is better than average but definitely NOT fantastic...and one thing for sure...he's NOT a superstar...his performances are so fucking boring...he never look at the camera, has this weird look on his face..which i think is fucking irritating...okay okay..i know it's not his fault and all..but i think it's simply nauseating to look at him onscreen...i think i am fucking mean but i still must say....he's NOT a superstar..if he really wants to sing...be like the cartoon man (think his name is ow de yang)...nice and soothing face with a cartoon character...

actually can imagine the chinese newspaper will have many comments on the winner...and i guess this will be the one they will harp on: if the blind man loses, he will not have any more chances....as for kelly, she will have tons...reminds me of taufik and sly...actually i think they have the blind society of singapore to vote for him..my uncle actually place a bet that kelly will win...my mum keep muttering to herself why the blind can win...my auntie was irritated that the blind won...*laughs*

actually i think JJ is the best!!! i thought the judges look cool tonight except for the lady judge...*laughs*

my botak

recently found a slight motivation to go to work ...*laughs* a very very very very minute motivation...and it's not due to monetary issue...neither is it a responsibility issue...nothing has changed for me with regards to job scope and pay....which is fucking sad...*sighz* anyway, my motivation is....A BOTAK!!! *laughs*

there's this botak in my office...an australian...he's in some reporting department..or rather he's like the reporting manager...an excel guru...he's not the tall, dark, handsome, young chap that most girls would fall in love with...although he's really tall, he's not dark, handsome or young...i will not say that he's handsome...but he's really charming...and he's old...40 years old...asked him about his age..and this was what he told me....*smilez*

he's really a very very very very nice and sweet guy....never have i met such a good-tempered guy...he's forever nice....we dont really have much working relationship..but on a monthly basis...i have the chance to liaise with him on some customer's report..*grins* so there was this month when the report had undergone many changes...and there were many last minute changes...and when i actually sent the wrong report to the customer...he didnt grumble...but just said nicely to me..." hannah, i think you have sent out the wrong report..could you please send out again? thanks. " WAH...so nice where to find...if it's other bosses or managers, they would have said..." the wrong report has been sent out! please resend! please be more careful..it's very embarassing to send the wrong things to customer! " see the difference? *laughs* was so mesmerized sia....

then there was this time..he need to scan some important documents and so he asked for my help...and of course i willingly help him with all my might!! *laughs* however, the stupid machine on our floor was not working and so we had to go to another floor and sought help from another colleague...so there we were trying to help him..and all...and finally, we managed to scan his document...and then he said.." thanks ladies..." BUT guess what? half an hour later...both colleague and i recieved an email from him to thank us again!!! so nice right? MY BOTAK is the best sia!!! how many such appreciative people can you find in the world? and knowing the dog-eat-dog world out there...my botak is one of a kind!! in fact, most people agreed that he's very very sweet guy...*smilez*

am so in love with him....whenever i walked to the toilet...i would walk past his desk...to be exact i would walk past the desk which is next next next next next to him..in the vertical sense....*laughs* and i would DEFINITELY steal a peek at him...although most of the time i could only see his shining head...*laughs* then i would grin to myself...whenever he walked past my desk..my heart would skip a beat...but a short beat...whenever i need some help with excel...i will find excuses to ask him for help...*grins* and i told EVERYONE that guy is MY BOTAK!! *laughs*

by the way, my botak is not married and has no girlfriend...so one would ask...if age is not a problem..make him yours....BUT my botak is gay...*laughs*