why do i need to work?

i am so bloody tired...so many things to do...so little time to do...*ARGH!!!!* but must restrain from pulling my hair because i am balding.... *sobs sobs* why does all the bad things happen to me?? *sighz* oh almighty GOD...help me...i am "dying"...dying from fatigue..dying from the pile of work...dying from the feeling of sianess...dying from the lost of direction... i need YOU to guide me...to be there for me...*ARGH!!!* mmm....need to release the stress inside me...need to find some comfort...need some tender loving care...

recently, the morale was really low for me...everyday seemed to be really busy and sighing away..actually it's not just me...princess mel too....busy and sighing away...*laughs* but we really cannot help it...every morning..we wake up and we really really dread going to work...but we need the money...sighz...when can we hold our wedding?? ie princess mel & josh and me and tom... *laughs* dreaming again..but no harm right..it's a way to escape from reality as well...

well..it's true that work is never-ending...so just do whatever you can..BUT everyday...i am given weird job tasks from all over the world...i really wonder... DO I LOOK THAT FUCKING FREE THAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME EXTRA WORK TO DO??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FUCKING EYES THAT YOU CANNOT SEE THAT I AM BURYING IN HEAPS OF WORK OR RATHER SHIT??

if one can spend the time looking through some documents..why cant that person just update that particular document? why must he/she send the files that i have sent over and come back to tell me what to update? is it easier to tell me to do?is it that fucking difficult to type those few things into that damn word document?so for me to read through the changes, update into the word document and send it back to you is much easier? *mutter mutter*

if one need some particular info for one's own use...is it logical to ask me to do the gathering and consolidation of info for you simply because i'm in the support function? but that doesnt mean i should support every fucking person or shit that was thrown onto my table... do i really look that free? with my messy hair, dark eye rings, loud sighing and blur look....does that indicate that i am so damn fucking free that extra shit has to be given to me??

and some people can be so irritatingly mean and fake... when i'm liasing with them..they are alright..saying "no problem...can...thanks for your help ah"...and the next moment...escalate to dont know who and my boss will come running to me and ask... "what happen? why didnt you help them?" WHAT THE FUCK?? i thought everything was under control and fine....stupid stupid stupid...

is this what one call "office politics"? *shrugs* i guess i am just sianz of my work....not getting enough $$$ for the shit i am doing...now with the stupid work, my sleeping hours are lessened, my complexion is getting worse, am getting fatter, getting uglier, my english is beginning to suck although it was never good, getting more vulgar...

i know what i need now....SLEEP, LOVE, $$$$ and GOD!!! like very bad horz...only find Papa God when i need Him...but then horz...He loves me mah...so heh heh heh..given that priviledge..no need to earn for it...it's a gift from Him... Thank you!!!

I'm mad....why do i need to work???