Am I selfish and jaded?

i am sure the Manila hostage drama is all over the headlines yesterday and today. i am sure everyone is discussing about how inefficient and useless the Manila's police force and how sad are the hostages who lost their families. there are news reports on how the hong kong government is pressuring the philippines government to explain the course of actions and etc etc. there are also footages of crying victims who have lost their families or who have been the ordeal and are still dealing with it.

my friend was telling me and updating me about how sad it was. there was this girl who lost her parents. another woman lost her husband because her husband protected her from the shots. then this lady thought to live on as she had 2 children. but apparently the 2 children did not survive. he was telling me that is so crazily sad to lose the entire family in one day. and if it's him, he would just die along with them.

funnily, on my side. i dont really care. i dont know why. maybe because im not from hong kong? but still that's not a good reason. i really do not feel much for the girl who lost her parents or for the lady who lost her entire family. i dont feel sad. neither do i feel sympathetic towards them. to me, i think it's just life. one will never know what's going to happen. so if one is alive, one should live life to the fullness. i know it's devastating to lose the entire family and parents if you're a kid. maybe because it's not my family so i dont feel much. i really have no idea. it's just doesnt touch my heart at all. i feel NOTHING.

in fact, everyday, i have been mentally preparing myself for the passing away of my family members. the first one would be my beloved grandmother. everytime i think about or imagine that fateful day, i would tear. but i know it's inevitable and so i hope she is always happy and gets what she wants. my grandmother is a good lady and she is very strong and a survivor. then i will think about my parents, my brothers, my uncles, my aunties, my friends. i should go before my cousins. hahaha. i have no idea why but im always preparng myself for those fateful days. yes i will be devastated and sad and mourn but i want to be able to move on as well. i dont want to be in that depression mode forever. maybe i am just selfish. maybe i only care about myself. or maybe my defense mechanism is so high that im trying to make myself believe that i dont really care so that i wont feel the pain when it happens.

and guess what's weird? i have never been hurt deeply by anyone or anything before. not that i can remember or think it's that hurtful. so i have no idea why i am so defensive. maybe it's just me. maybe i am just practical. or maybe i am so emotional that i became practical. or maybe i am being incepted. haha.

oh well, my condolences to mankind.

NDP 2010: Live our Dreams, Fly our Flag

Today is Singapore's birthday. Singapore is 45 years old today. so young!!! and this is the first time im watching the NDP on webcast. actually i cannot remember last year if im in Singapore during national day. I think i am. anyway, it's quite shioks to watch it on webcast. feel so patriotic. haha! 

anyway, on a side note, i rushed home after work to watch the webcast. so i took a cab. then when i told the cab driver where im going. he got pissed because it's very near. then throughout the whole journey, he kept nagging nagging and nagging. saying things like " such a big girl, dont know how to go home. must take cab and waste money. " warrau. what's wrong with him? argh. hong kong taxi drivers need to learn to be more polite loh. this is absurd

anyway back to the parade. so when i switched it on after downloading all the necessary stuffs, the march-in was done. ARGH. i want to watch them marching in. so annoying. but then it's fine. anyway, i love the mobile column. all the army tanks and vehicles and all the army captains - SO COOL SIA! they all look very very shuai and nice. actually i wonder if they can really protect our country. haha oops. but i guess with all the weapons and vehicles and all the machines, should be can lah. i always thought the navy speedboat is blue and white but it's actually green. why ah? sea is always deemed to be blue and not green. so weird. and there's something that has a washing machine. i thought it's really quite interesting. if i marry an army captain, i dont want the sword of honor. i want my entourage of army tanks! wonder if it's air-conditioned with cushions in the tanks. if not, i want to marry a pilot who flies the fighter jets. so suave. again, no sword of honors. i want to fly in one of those thing. but i guess i might just vomit. haha. or i can marry a naval diver and according to the commentators, our naval divers are one of the best IN THE WORLD. i wonder how they judge how good a naval diver is.

there are some new singers that i've never heard of or seen. a bit the CMI though. but it was amazing when it ended with Kit Chan singing " HOME". this is my favorite song and Kit Chan is my favorite local artiste. whenever she sings this song, it always make me teary and miss home. *sob sob* also, the formations were pretty pretty. and there were many fireworks. i guess because Singapore's GDP is growing at 15% so a lot of $$$ to have fireworks everywhere. hahaha. oh and watching all those performers dancing and running around the padang made me think about the time when i was a participant as well. i was the cheerleader for the pre-parade show. so fun. it was in 1998. omg. 12 years ago. omg, im getting old. omg. omg. omg. also, i thought the MP who played with the guns looked like bugs and some of them carry light sabers. haha.

uncle lee is still VERY STRONG. he is almost twice the age of Singapore! uncle goh also got older but still look strong. and i feel a bit paiseh that i dont know our ministers. haha. i only know uncle lee, uncle goh, pm lee, and teo chee hien. haha the rest, no idea. but i know they are ministers lah. just not very sure of their names and positions. quite bad. i think i fail my national education. heng i am no longer a student if not quite jialatz. haha. can die. 

oh and the saying of the pledge at 20:10 because it's 2010 is quite lame lah. haha cannot believe the organizers can get so lame. but then again, it's quite cool also. although i didnt stand up and say the pledge out loud, but i did recite it in my heart and sing the national anthem in my heart. actually the only day that i sing the national anthem is 09 August. haha. and i realized that all the new songs all CMI lah. it's always the old songs that are catchy and people dont stop singing. songs like " stand up for singapore", "count on me singapore", "one people,one nation, one singapore", "we are singapore". these songs have been around since i was a kid and they are still being used right now amazing. wonder who wrote these songs. so talented. now all the new songs, after national day, all forget. some couldnt even make people remember. 

oh well, happy birthday Singapore!

I wonder WHY...

recently, i have 3 WHYS...

WHY is E! channel showing Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart every other half hour just because "Eclipse" is showing in the cinemas? Are there really sooooo many things to talk about them? I didnt watch E! now because im seeing these 3 persons every other 15 mins. it's soooo annoying and they keep repeating the same stories and comments in different versions of THS. argh.

WHY do movie characters always look so good even if they just got out of bed and need to change immediately? i was watching "Valentine's Day" on the plane the other day. (it was such a boring and lame movie. i thought i would be touched, like "Love Actually" but no. i was bored to the max) anyway, there was a scene when Anne Hathaway need to get out of bed and rush to work immediately. in one minute, she was dressed and her hair and make-up was perfect. i wish i can be like that so that i can sleep longer. hee hee.

WHY are the soccer matches in the wee hours? why cant it be like 10pm our time? why must it be like 230am our time? so unfair. we always have to suffer. why? just because we're asians and not as superior? well, it was held in Korea and Japan once and it's in the afternoon. BUT we dont have free website to view the matches online. when i was in NY, every screen has a small window that is showing free online matches. so unfair. i think Singapore should aim to co-host the world cup with Malaysia and stop dreaming about being in the world cup, never going to happen. haha!

I LOVE SATC2!!!

okay i know im very late. most girls would have caught the movie as soon as it's released. for me, there are 2 reasons why i watched it late. one, it is sooo expensive to catch a movie in hk and im not sure if i want to spend that $$$. the movie ticket cost HKD 80 which is like SGD 15 for a NORMAL MOVIE. two, i dont have any movie khakis in hk. then the other day, was talking to a colleague and we both wanted to watch this movie but were not able to find anyone to go with and so we decided to watch it togets last night. and although the movie has been screening for almost 2 months, the cinema is still full. amazing. maybe many of those girls are back for their 2nd time. *shrugs*.

anyway, although reviews from friends and everywhere says this movie is OTT and tried too hard, i thought it was quite funny. I LOVE SAMANTHA! she's amazing and she's so funny. i laughed soooo hard when she was singing to the handsome stranger at the abu dhabi bar. i mean seriously, Samantha is my idol. she's everything i want to be. she's funny, she's sexy, she's rich, she's good at PR, she's an amazing friend and she's good with guys. she is my favorite. i always love it when she doesn't judge, always think about her friends, always so supportive. when she was being offered a free trip to abu dhabi for free, she never forgets her 4 best gals. and during the moment when she rejected the handsome stranger saying that it was the girls' night out and she had to stick with the girls and suggested the date the next day, i wish i had a friend like her.

i love Miranda's hair too. sooo nice. and in this movie, her clothes are pretty pretty. she's wearing a lot of jumper and i think those are amazing. i love them. and i also loved Miranda's capability. i wish i am her too. and to be honest, i love Carrie's and Big's house. it's sooo big and nice. but i dont understand why Carrie has to wear super high heels at home. HAHA.

well, it's true the movie has no storyline and it's a little bit unrealistic but hey, it's SATC. and for the first time, i actually noticed the clothes that the 4 characters wore and i kinda like some of them.

this dress, clutch, shoes, shades, hair, everything is A M A Z I N G. i love this look the most. it's sooo pretty and so chic and so everything.

this purplish-blueish dress is also quite pretty. i love such dresses. flowy and nice. it looks sooooo comfortable.

this is sooo funny. i really think it's a good way to show the contrast. but to be honest, Charlotte looks pretty much the same. hee hee. but the shoes are much better.

i really like what all of them wore here. it's soo pretty and so nice. but it's a little bit too nice for them to wear it in the desert. but then again, it's SATC. anything can happen. hahaha

again, i love everything that the 4 of them are wearing. these dresses, shoes and bags are soooo them. very very pretty. i wish i have 3 other friends and we can dress up and go shopping at 5th ave. hee hee. maybe we can do it singaporean style. shop at orchard road.

see, Miranda's hair is soooo nice. i wish i can have such hairstyle. i really want to do this but everyone told me not to cut my hair. but i really really really really like this hairstyle. and i love this look of Miranda. she's sooo pretty here.

i also love this dress of Samantha. it's very pretty and i love all the accessories and also the hair. not the bag though. hee hee.

i really really really love all the outfits here except for Charlotte's. I really really really really love Miranda's jumper. it's A M A Z I N G. i want something like that!! and i loooooove this poster!!!!

What to wear in Spain?

i am uber excited because i am going on a holiday soon. with all the changes ( good and bad ) happening at work, i seriously need this break. although there are some hiccups ( because the friend whom im supposed to stay with in London will not be around and another friend may not be around ), but i am sorting them out, i think. haha. but anyhow, i am really seriously looking forward to the holiday. hopefully i can meet the man of my dreams too. hahaha. 

well, as it will be super hot in Madrid and Barcelona, my friends and i was planning to bring shorts and t-shirts and slippers. we just want to make sure we are as comfy as we can be as the weather will be super hot. BUT, after speaking with 2 friends who have been to Spain, they told me: " CANNOT WEAR SLOPPILY ". i guess no shorts and t-shirts except when i go to the beach. so i have decided to pack nice clothes. hee hee. and i hope to look like this:

  

but i dont think i will wear the boots because I DONT HAVE and it's WAY TOO HOT. haha. but everything else seems nice. and i think im going to pack a scarf in as i want to look like this as well:

but i really dont know why people want to use scarf when it's soo hot but it's really cool and looks really nice and so im going to bring one and try it on but if it's too hot, i think i will ditch that idea. haha. for me comfy is MORE important than anything else. and i know the maxi dress is the latest trend but i was not able to get any nice ones in HK or NY. and so i hope i can get some from Spain and wear it there. so that i can look like this:

but then i really dont think i will look good in maxi dresses. maybe this is easier to pull off:

i think this is very casual, very pretty and very comfy. but if i were to wear this during holidaying, i would swap the heels with a pair of sandals. haha i am so not a heels-person when im casual. i only wear heels when i go to work or when i go partying. haha. but i do have quite a bit of heels. i dont know why. maybe i should aim to look like this instead:

aiyah, so difficult to pack!!!! maybe i should just pack 1 dress and go Spain and buy everything. hee hee.

Great Depression

i have no idea why. i am feeling SUPER down. so down that i just want to hibernate and do nothing. i am in one of those moods again. i have only negative feelings. nothing is cheering me up. not even my Spain trip. perhaps the only thing that can cheer me up is that i won 1 million dollars in a lottery and i can quit and travel around the world. or to be more realistic, i found a better job.

i didnt know a person can change so much in my life, in the way i look at myself, my job, my life. i didnt know a person can have such a huge effect on me that i basically went from one end to the other. i didnt know that one person can let me see how good i am. i didnt know that one person can make me hate my job so much that i find my job a chore. there's a lot of things i didnt know until now.

i know change is the only constant. i know i should embrace changes. i know all these and i know this is how i should be. i remembered that in london, my friend's mum did tarot card reading for me and said that there will be a change in my career this year and i am dreading that change but i will embrace it. well, the first half is right. second half, i dont see it happening. i dont like the change. i disagree with the change. this change makes me realize how much i hate my job and company. i need a new job. DESPERATELY and NOW.

why? why would a person promote another just because that dude is kinda cute, carries her shopping bags and possibly gave her orgasm. this is so not right. shouldnt we be rewarded based on our competencies and merits. fine maybe the dude's competencies and merits is that he's willing to be a dog. then get a dog. a dog is much better. i wish im a dog. a dog doesnt have to worry about such lame stuffs. i dont have to worry about me being underpaid. i dont have to worry about people complaining about lame stuffs to me and expect me to do something about it.

oh well, i guess life is unfair. i dont even know why i wrote this. dont worry. this is not my will. i am not committing suicide. im too gutless to do that.

Why I like Glee

my new found love - GLEE. haha actually i dont really like it but it's quite lame and corny and so i thought it's quite nice. and besides, there are quite a number of eye-candies in the show. and i dont mean just the guys. some of the girls are pretty hot too. there are a few interesting things that i notice about this show.

if any of the characters are in the cheerleading group aka cheerios, they have to wear the cheerleading uniform wherever they appear. they have NO OTHER clothes. i think it's pretty sad. i mean being a cheerleader would mean that they are slim and fit and popular but they can only wear the cheerleader uniform? that's quite sad.

these are the 3 main cheerleaders in the show. although they are in the glee club, they are always wearing this uniform. it's quite boring and sad. i mean seriously, the black girl on the right has such GOOD BODY. i would love to see her in some sexy dresses or some nice jeans. and when other characters join the cheerios, they have to be in this ugly uniform as well.

this guy is a gay in the show ( and a gay in real-life ). he's always dressed nicely with nice hair. but the moment he's part of the cheerios, he has to wear this ugly uniform. seriously, if the producers is trying to use the clothes as a form of indication that these characters are cheerleaders, at least the uniform should be nicer and i think people who are fans or avid followers of the show will know who are the cheerleaders.

another funny thing is the storyline. right at the beginning of the show, during the first or second episode ( i cant really remember ), the story goes by that glee teacher wants to quit. i mean seriously. the show is called "GLEE" and obviously the teacher who is going to run and inspire the Glee kids is NOT going anywhere in the show. if he quits, that's like the end of the show. it's PRETTY LAME. hahaha. but on another note, matthew morrison is quite a charming man.

apparently he was singing on broadway in "hairspray". haha cant imagine him as "Linc" as Zac Efron was "Linc" too.

anyway, i really really really really really really really hate the main lead. she is super duper annoying. she is so annoying that although her voice is really good, i hate her! she is super annoying and i dont understand why would any guys be interested in her. she reminds me of  a colleague who is always trying to be smart and friendly but is actually super lame. but that colleague of mine looked like "ugly betty". I am NOT kidding. she really is like "ugly betty" hahaha. even betty is prettier. anyway, the main lead is not that ugly but i think the pregnant cheerleader is much much better.

pretty pretty right? im actually quite jealous and wish im as pretty or rather i have been more diligent in my diet and losing weight plans and have looked like that when i was in high school. sigh. i guess i kinda like Glee because it's like HSM. it has pretty boys and girls, with some lame storyline but inspiring moments where the boys and girls always break out into songs SUDDENLY. haha. which is pretty lame. imagine walking down the school hallway and then suddenly, this girl started out singing and dancing in front of you. if this happened in real-life, i would have burst out laughing. HAHAHA.

well, the main male lead is actually this guy:

to be honest, i dont think he's cute. i dont like it when he sings and dance. kinda dorky but then kinda cute. hahahaha. anyway, he's not that young. he's like 28 this year but he's acting as 18 or 17. but he does look young. anyway, i dont think he's cute. now, this is my guy:

Isnt he CUTE??? his looks and height are just PERFECT FOR ME. sigh. if only i can find someone in real-life. i mean seriously, he is sooooooooo cute. and not to forget, he's oh-so-sexy. slurrrp. i really really like this guy. everything about him. even his character in the show, my favorite. the bad boy who is actually good. i guess i am always into this kind of guys. he looks a bit like robbie williams ya? *giggles*

South Africa 2010

i can still remember myself telling someone during the 2006 World Cup that i want to go on a holiday in South Africa in 2010 during world cup. time really flies. it's 2010 and World Cup is coming and where i am? gloomy and polluted Hong Kong. sigh. anyway, on CNN, they kept saying that they are counting down to the world cup. and to be very honest, i am very excited too. anyway, it's going to start on 11 June and the opening match is South Africa vs Mexico

anyway, i know soccer is more of guy's thing but trust me, i think it is beneficial for girls to watch as well. seriously, when will all the cute dudes of different nationalities gather together? who can resist the charms of Cristiano Ronaldo and Fabio Cannavaro? and how can we forget my favorite Frank Lampard and Fernando Torres? well, yes they play in the leagues BUT not in the same league all the time. so this is the time i can get to see all my favorite guys in one occassion. hee hee.

also, this is the best time to hang out at bars with friends. it is very shioks to drink beer and watch soccer matches with friends. but then again, i think i have no more friends left to watch soccer with me. maybe i can go hang out alone and meet new friends. hahaha. but i doubt so. most probably i would just not be able to wake up. haha. but there is one match that i have to watch. Brazil vs Portugal. i love both teams but i prefer Portugal more.

anyway for some, this is the season to make $$$$. im sure many would be placing bets on all the matches and there will be different ways of betting. some will make $$$ and some will lose $$$. as for me, i have only bet once but i didnt really like it. haha i can still remember it's a game between England and Brazil. i would prefer England to win as i really like Frank but i know Brazil can win England easily. so i bet my $$$ on Brazil. during the game, i am torn between love and money. hahaha. at the end of the game, i won $$$ but it broke my heart to see my Frank so upset. sigh. anyway, this year, im putting my $$$$ on Spain. so it's good. i love Spain and so do i love $$$.

i wonder if Singapore will ever play in the World Cup. hahaha. maybe we should just aim to HOST and not PLAY. more likely to succeed.

Pretend Pretend

am not sure if people out there pretend to be somebody when they were young. have spoken to a few friends and we kinda exchanged our childhood dreams about what we want to be when we grow up. and very interestingly, many of my friends want to be this:

and interestingly when i asked why, the same reason was given. all of them like to play with the cashier machine when it goes " ka-cheng " and the drawer will spring out. hahaha. honestly, i think it's very duhz to actually like to be cashier because of the machine. haha even as a kid, i never wanted to be a cashier. 

and the second most common job that my friends want to be is this:

hahaha again, i have no idea why. and very interestingly, these friends are actually foodies. when they go travelling, they will be very very interested to go to different places to try to food and they are always talking to me about food (which i honestly think it's boring). well, we called it "masak-masak". these friends also told me that they will have real food to play with as their mothers or grandmothers will give them the unwanted food to pretend they are really cooking. haha pretty cute right?

as for me, what do i pretend to be when i was young? when i told my friend what i always pretend to be, they all started laughing and said i was sooo serious. well, but this is seriously, what i always pretend to be when i was young:

hahaha! yes a very very successful CEO! i always pretend that i have a very big house, i drive a very nice car and i have a very big office. everyday, my job requires me to sit in the office and sign documents and checks. then i will go have nice lunches and dinner and sipped wine and chill out at nice places. and i actually will use my mum's or uncle's unwanted check books or i will draw my own checks. haha then i will carry briefcase and go to work and sign important papers. to me, it is very interesting and it's my dream life. earning big bucks and having comfortable life.

now im wondering what my guy friends would pretend when they are young...

Shen Qian Da Ji Hua!!!

i need to embark on this "da ji hua" of mine. it is very important that i start to save SERIOUSLY. i mean i have been saving but i have also been spending. the other day, i was being "scolded" by a friend who said i should be more serious and stop floating around. he doesnt want me to end up like "Carrie Bradshaw" - no money no house. that kinda makes me scared. i really need to start saving. so i have to embark on my 省钱大计划.

one of the obstacles that i am facing right now is my "break-up friend". whenever i go out with her,  i have to spend at least HKD 500. this is A LOT OF $$$$. i have been telling her i need to save $$$ as i am going to Spain and I want to save $$$. she is earning almost 20% more than me (i think) and so she had that spending power which i dont have. when i go to the beach, i only need to spend HKD 50. i will bring my own water and food and i will go to the most accessible beach by bus. when i go to the beach with her, i had to spend HKD 300 - taxi ride to the most secluded beach, lunch, water, food, drinks, etc etc. i mean the secluded beach is nice because it's secluded BUT i do not want to spend HKD 300 just to go to that beach. i said i wanna go jogging on tuesday and she wanna join me. i said okay. then she said after running, we should do dinner. dinner with her will cost at least HKD 100. if i go home, i can just cook something for myself. and why would i want to go for dinner after perspiring? it's disgusting. therefore, i have to stop hanging out with her so often. i have to learn to say " NO ". i cannot afford to meet her every weekend because that will cost me a lot of $$$.

what i am trying to do is to cook for myself. so i have to stop going out with people. for lunch, i have to spend at least HKD 50 per meal. this is because there is nothing cheaper in the area i work in. so, i have to save on my dinner and my weekends. i have bought some spaghetti and sauces, some instant noodles, bak kut teh mix, some canned food, etc etc. i want to cook as much as possible because it can really save me a lot of $$$.  and i am trying to stop buying things. thus far, i have been very successful. most of my $$$ is spent on food thus far.  so i should be able to save more $$$.

talking about cooking, i have made my first bak kut teh tonight! so proud of myself. i have rice and soup and it actually taste quite nice. hee hee. take a look at this:

Break-Up Friend

 i am sure many people have gone into and out of relationships. it's very common and i believe it is happening all the time. and when people get into or out of relationships, they would always want to share with their friends. having said that, i personally feel that it's very normal for a person to want to share good news and bad news with friends but there is so much i can handle. of course, i am not saying that i dont share and i do want to share but i think one should always think about the other party when sharing.

of course, when it's good news, it's much easier to share and much easier on the other person. but of course, saying too much of " he's such a great guy " and " im so in love " can be a little annoying and torturing but still, at least it's good news. so good news is always something nice. therefore, i am pretty happy to hear such things from a friend. and of course, if such things happen to me ( which i dont think have ever happen to me ), i would do the same to a friend. however, no matter how inevitable it is and how i tried to embrace the fact that my friends would need to spend time with their new boyfriend/girlfriend, i still cannot help but think that it's very disgusting if my friend totally "ignore" me during that period. personally, i would give my friend an "expiry date". usually if my friend ignored me for like 1 or 2 months, i think it's very natural. anything more than that, i would think it's disgusting. this just goes to show much that friend actually value me as a friend.

on another note, when it's bad news, one would tend to want to share more and would want to have people always by their side. this, i totally understand, but again, i have a limit. and to be very honest, my patience for handling friends who whined and cried over break-ups is very very little. i totally understand why one would want to whine and cry and complain but seriously, there is a limit to how much one can handle the same issue/problem. i know it takes time for one to get over another. i know it's hard. i know it's easier said than done. i know all these but again, i cannot help but get annoyed with continuous whining and nonsensical thinking. it's even worse when it's a friend who "ignored" me the whole time he/she was attached and only come crying for my company when he/she got dumped.

anyway, recently, i am "plagued" with this "disease". this friend of mine has just broken up with her boyfriend. she called me and cried and said she wanted me to keep her company. well, i dont mind and of course i said " ya, i will keep you company ". however, this is the beginning of my "nightmare". for that weekend, i have to keep her company for 3 FULL DAYS. she never goes to the beach. now she kept pestering me to go to the beach with her. simply because her ex likes to go to the beach. i told her " i am tired ", she kept pestering. after beach, she said to have dinner. after dinner, she asked to go out for drinks. i said ' i am sleepy ' she ignored me. and i dont like to go to a particular beach because it's inaccessible and troublesome and she insisted. fine, we go and there's no sun and it's cold. so i suggested going home. she said she couldnt go home as she would let her thoughts go wild. she would start to imagine her ex and another girl having sex. she would start to imagine her ex having fund with another girl in bali. SERIOUSLY, GET A LIFE. and whenever, we're out, she's always looking for him and asking me why did he want to break up with her. HOW THE FARK I KNOW? her ex sails and she's suddenly into sailing. she said it's soo fun. and she kept pestering me to do it. and i told her " i dont have money and i dont like it " then she kept saying it's nice and etc etc etc. and she kept asking me to hang out with her. i dont mind but it's boring hanging out with her because she kept talking about the ex and about boring stuffs. and even when at the beach, usually i would read a book or just chill. she wanted to keep talking. and the moment we talked, it's about the ex and why the ex doesnt want to be with her and what if the ex is having sex with another girl. SERIOUSLY, HOW THE FARK I KNOW?? and when i told her i need to go to my company's dragonboat practice,she asked if she can come along. i said im going to Spain with my friends, she asked if she can come along. is she THAT desperate? i am sure i am not her only friend. maybe not only am i her backup for boyfriend but im also the backup for her friends.

mmm, maybe im selfish and maybe im a bitch but i really have enough of her. she's really pissing me off by just calling me! i told her i am not "Charlotte" from SATC and I will not tolerate her nonsense for long. i told her she had to stop dramatizing everything! it's really getting on my nerves. argh.

HOLIDAYS...

went for 2 holidays already and im pining for my next holiday. argh. this sucks. why do i have to work? why cant i be "Hannah Hilton"? then i can just travel around the world. i should have been more determined to lose weight when i was younger and become and air stewardess and then i can travel around the world. argh. this sucks. im always looking saving $$$ and then i'll spend it holidaying. at this rate, i will never be able to save $$$. this sucks. 

well, first destination is Langkawi. nice short getaway where i got a nice tan. hee hee. i miss the sun. havent seen the sun for a long time. went with a friend whom i met 2 years ago on my Israel trip. we went to mangrove swamps, eagle-feeding, fish farms, bat caves and we even dived. talking about diving, it's super duhz. we signed up for the diving thingy but we said we both forgot our license. when we signed up for it, they said we can speak with the dive masters/instructors and we should be able to dive. but on the day, we spoke with that dude and he refused to let us dived as we dont have our licenses with us and he said we can only do the beginner stuffs which is to dive around the boat. my friend was pissed as she's an advanced diver! haha. anyway we argued with the dude and then finally, some kind uncle said we can join them. yay! seriously, those who refused to let us dive were CRAZY. why would we lie that we can dive when we cant? who in the world would lie about diving??! i mean it's not like drinking. if you lie that you're above 18 to drink, that's fine.why would we lie that we can dive when we cant? we're not on a suicide trip!!! we were in langkawi to enjoy!! then we concluded that the malay instructor was lazy and didnt want to bring us down. hahaha. anyway, the 2 dives that we had was not fantastic. it's not clear and there's nothing much to see. sigh. but overall, it's a very chilled trip.

 the mangrove swamp that we went. basically nothing much to see and so we camwhore a lot. and so there's not much pictures of anything else but moi. hahaha. 

haha so this is me. and below is my friend and i. many commented that we look like sisters. but i always insist that im the younger and prettier one. hahaha.

after this sunny trip,i made a trip to LONDON!! this is my first trip to London and my first trip to Europe. i was uber excited. i cannot contain my excitement. and my accommodation was free as my friend has just relocated to London. so it's AMAZING. i did all the touristy stuffs and i also did the local stuffs. i went to Oxford, Bath and Stonehedge. I hung out at the locals with british and hungarians. i drank almost everyday and i visited museums and took the underground. i even went to work for a day. oh, i also took a speed boat down River Thames, visited castles, went up the London Eye, and met up with friends in London. the only thing that i didnt do is to watch a musical. i decided to drink instead of watching. hahaha. i want to go back to London again. and guess what? i think i am. haha im planning my next trip to Spain and i have decided to drop by London and then to Spain. hee hee. oh, not to mention, i made new friends in London and they are such fun people to hang out with. they are forever drunk and hungover and so they are always wasted and funny. hahaha. and people always say the weather in london was gloomy and all. well, the 8 days that i was there, it was sunny and nice. oh and i didnt have a chance to sip english tea with the queen. think she's out of town. oh well, will do it another time. hahaha. ooh and i wanted to go MOS but everyone kinda said it's expensive and not worth and so i ended up in the locals ( this is what they call their usual drinking hangout ). i really hope my company can send me to London for like 3 months stint or exchange. that would be my dream come true. sigh.  

I so need to take these 2 pictures. they are the typical London things. right???? hahahaha.

 the famous London Eye which our Singapore Flyer copied from. I actually took it on a sunny day and it's quite awesome. it's very pretty. 

this is the Parliment House. I wanted to see this badly as I remembered Harry Potter and gang flew past it in the latest movie. haha i asked if i can do the same and everyone kinda ignored me. 

the famous bridge of London. i always thought this is London bridge but i was told that this is Tower Bridge. London bridge is just a normal bridge. hahaha. 

and i went to the Oxford castle. it wasnt what i expect it but oh well, it's still a castle. hee hee. my all-time dream to visit a castle. i need to start looking for suitable castles for my wedding. hahaha.

this is Oxford. makes me feel like studying again. same feeling i got when i visited Princeton 3 years ago. haha i think maybe i should seriously consider studying but then again, i may  not be smart enough to get into these ivy-league school. haha. 

oh went to Windsor Castle too. this is like the summer house of the Queen. too bad she's not around to have tea with me. but it's amazing. i love this castle. it's actually livable. haha. very very interesting. 

i finally see the guards!!!! they are sooo serious. and i wonder when they were marching and with all these tourists taking pictures and looking at them, what are their thoughts. if im one of them, i would definitely be very conscious of how i look and if i look fat and if my hat is crooked and if i would look good in the camera. and if there's some cute girls taking pictures, i would love to ask her for her name. hahaha. 

this is at Bath. we went to the Roman Bath, which i thought wasnt great but the town itself or whatever you called it, is extremely pretty. i would love to retire in UK. but that is provided it's always spring time haha which is impossible. hahaha. 

and how can i not go to the Stone Hedge? i forced my friends to go with me and i told her i NEED to go to this place. but to be honest, it's nothing much. haha just stones. i cant even go near them. they are like 50 m away. haha and all we can do is walked around it and take pictures and every other pictures look almost the same. i wonder why does it not look like the wallpaper. haha. guess i need a better camera. 

and my final attempt to have tea with the Queen. i went all the way to Buckingham Palace and was told she's at Windsor. argh. i think she's avoiding me on purpose. I wonder why. oh well, never mind. i will get in touch with her again. and too bad i missed the changing of guards.

sigh, i need a holiday again!!!!

Where is my Personal Space?

have been wondering and thinking if i should delete my facebook account. maybe im just paranoid or maybe i am really too affected by my boss.i have people from my office who are my "friends" on facebook too. and so when i have updates or pictures uploaded or when i made comments, everyone can kinda see it. and somehow, some of the comments i made or updates that i made, according to my boss, can be misleading. 

seriously, i was appalled. this is because i never put things like " i hate my job " or " i hate my boss " or " i wanna quit " something like that. things that i put on my FB are mostly personal. yes some of them are evoked from frustrations at work and it may be linked to that BUT it's not obvious, at least to me. unless you know me or are working with me or whatever.but even if it's obvious, DOES IT MATTER? this is my personal life and i am a human. whatever happen will affect me in some ways or another. agree? so why am i devoid of this right simply because i have work people on my friends list? this is absurd!

i remembered there was this time, i said " i need to stop shopping" and my friend outside of work commented that i need not stop shopping as im earning $50,000 a month. now, this is a private joke between my friend and i as we always tease each other about how "much" we are earning. and my boss (who is also my friend) actually told me that this is very misleading because people might actually think that i am earning that much money (in hkd of course ) and that we are giving the wrong image to the other teams. SERIOUSLY, this is too much. i told him this is a private joke between friend and i. and he suggested to me to comment back to say i am earning $500,000,000 or some absurd numbers so that it's obvious that it's a joke. SERIOUSLY. isnt this too much? 

and yesterday, im not sure what happened but i think there are some negative comments/gossips about me in Singapore. somehow, these comments/gossips kinda reached my global manager and i think she might have mentioned something to my manager. so my manager told me again that i must be extremely careful with my friends in Singapore. he emphasized again that they may appear to be friends but they are not friends. he again told me to be very careful of what i say to people in Singapore and i should really do something about my FB. seriously, FACEBOOK AGAIN??? this sucks. i was kinda frustrated and i almost deleted my FB account but there are many who arent my co-workers. i thought about deleting those co-workers but then i think it's not worth it at all. 

this really pissed me off as i really hate it when my personal life is affected by my work life. anyway, have decided im going to keep my FB account and will block certain comments from those co-workers or maybe i should create a 2nd FB account. HAHAHAHA. but too much work for something that is personal. seriously, this sucks.

Random Stuffs

Been quite a while since I last wrote.not that my life is unhappening but just that it's too random to be put into one post. but yet, all these small snippets actually made up my life. i guess my life story is a combination of millions of short stories. 

well, i think i just lost a group of old friends. all because i refused to be part of the bridesmaid team because i was not able to get the same dress. to be honest, it's very silly but i really dont know why i was so stubborn. basically, we were supposed to make bridesmaid dresses togets but because im not in singapore, they made the dress without me. but they did told me to give them my measurements and they will make the dress for me. i refused as i know it's not going to be a nice dress and all the shit. but honestly, it's not my wedding, i need not look the best. but still, i refused. i told them i am quitting and i dont see the point. and besides, im just part of the bridemaids team because i am conveniently part of the group. that pissed them off BIG TIME. and then to make matters worse, i didnt go to the dinner in the end. i chose to go to my uncle's dinner instead. the reason? well, i just feel that they dont want me to be there. i dont have the invitation card, i dont know what's going on, no one updated me, no one contacted me. so fine, whatever. haha. seriously, i think im very childish but i guess this is just how i really feels and thinks. 

after taking on a managerial role, im dying from all the stress. it's NOT FUN at all to be a manager. in fact, it's so stressed that i have "collapsed" several times after i've taken on the role. SO NOT FUN. i couldnt control myself and i got personal. and i get pissed off very easily and it's really very difficult for me. i have a team which everyone is earning more than me and being more experienced. and it didnt help that my boss is a great manager and everyone's so used to his style and i cant do what he does. in the beginning, one of my team mates actually called me and told me that i need to be like my manager in order to gain respect from them. i was like " WTH". oh well, i guess im screwed? hahaha. anyway, i have just decided. i am going to give myself 6 months. by 2nd quarter of 2010, i want my team to adapt to my leadership style. by 1st quarter, i will stop being nice and friendly. i want to be more firm and get my instructions across. i will do my best to "protect" my team but i cannot do it the way my boss does it. so if my team thinks im useless, too bad. that's me. and by 2nd quarter 2010, i want them to respect me for who i am. i have the capability and i have the skills. so they have no right to despise me simply because im younger and less experienced. 

i want to go to the beach again. had great time in langkawi. sunny and i got a nice tan. not too burnt. just nice. swim, laze, dive and eat. shioks. but im going to london in april. shioks too. never been there. super excited. hopefully the weather is good. cant wait to go holidaying again. haha it's bad as everytime i go holidays, i lose my momentum at work. but oh well, i need to balance my work and personal life. hee hee.

ooh, one of my good friend's sister is getting married and she asked me to be part of the bridesmaid. haha. i told her about my incident with my old friends. she told me " okay, i will give you all the details by june. " she's getting married in november. HAHAHA. i guess i was very direct and frank when telling her my story. and then she asked me to help her look out for dresses. so i started to google. and i fell in love with this:

isnt the dress on the right so pretty? i love it sooo much that i am saving this picture in my hard drive. HAHAHA. and why is it so pretty? it's by vera wang. maybe i can ask her if she can sponsor me just like how she sponsor carrie bradshaw. i should start writing columns! hahaha. and no, i am not desperate to get married. in fact, i think i may never get married. i have commitment phobia.

Happy Chinese New Year

am back in Singapore for 2 weeks for CNY. it's a super long holiday. i like it and im dreading going back to HK to work. sigh. once back in HK, i may have my own privacy, my own house and all, but i also have my own laundry to do, my own house to clean and etc. sigh. over here, everything's done nicely for me. heh heh. i even got a "personal chauffeur".

anyway, 1.5 weeks have passed. what have i been doing? 3 things - EAT, SLEEP, NUAH. hahaha. this is really life. i wish i can do that for the rest of my life but still get paid. sigh. but then again, by doing these 3 things, i am getting fatter too. so maybe it's not such a good idea after all. but then again, i really do not mind getting fat if i can get paid to bum around. anyways, i should stop dreaming.

did some shopping with mum and friends. woah, there's a lot of new shopping malls in Singapore. huge and confusing. haha wonder why do they make it so confusing for shoppers to shop. also, some of the roads that i used to frequent has also changed. i have been getting lost on the roads for the past few days. i either make a wrong turn or didnt make a turn and ended up in some places that i have no freaking idea where i was. but thankfully, i still manage to find my way home. haha.

well, the good news is, im coming back again for work next week. YAY!!!

Taylor Swift..??!!

i am very sure everyone know who is Taylor Swift. if one doesnt, then i think one has a serious problem. she's everywhere. on every award show, every prestigious whatever crap, country music, best newcomer, etc etc, she's always the winner. even on fashion police, she's the most well-dressed. seriously i dont understand why. is she that good? i mean she is decent-looking and quite pretty but not gorgeous, in my opinion that is.

i mean how pretty is that? she is a typical blond chick if you ask me. and her songs, i dont even know what songs she sings. hahaha. apparently she's a songwriter too. and she's a country singer/writer. something like Shania Twain and Leann Rimes. but seriously, i dont think she is THAT great. i dont know why everyone kept gushing about her. and said she's the next big thing.

 

okay, based on the above dress, she was named the best-dressed in Grammy awards 2010. seriously. is it that beautiful? i mean yes, the dress is beautiful but i dont think she's that beautiful at all. i just dont like it that she's winning all the awards and getting all the praises when i really dont think she's that great. hahaha. or maybe she'll be like norah jones. win everything in one year, and then it's downhill all the way. 

and did i mention, she was dating Taylor Lautner. yes yes, Jacob. THANK GOD HE WOKE UP AND REALIZED SHE'S NOT THAT GOOD. hahaha. okay actually i dont really care if they are still dating as i dont really like him as well. but seriously, he can definitely get someone MUCH MUCH MUCH better. they dont look good togets at all.

 

a good-looking couple would be the following:

see, this is what i mean by a good-looking couple. Selena looks soooo much better with Taylor. Swift looks too boring for him, agree? or personally, i prefer this couple:

hahahaha yes, im a little biased but oh well, i just think zac and vanessa look sooo good together.

anyway, back to Taylor Swift. i really have nothing much to say about her. haha because i dont even want to know her. when i googled "Taylor Switft", to be honest, there arent many fansites at all. maybe one or two. i mean if she's taht popular and talented and all the shit, shouldnt there be more fans out there making fansites for her? or maybe her fans are just her own family and friends. haha. 

New Home!!

just moved into my new house. actually not just just but it's been almost a month since i moved here. didnt update anything for so long because i just got my internet up and running. the stupid internet and cable tv thingy was not working in my building and so it took a while. anyway, everyone's kinda bugging me for pictures of my new house. and so here it goes.

this is my bedroom. very simple. as the name suggests, i can only put a bed there. hahaha

this is the other room. it's more like a "walk-in wardrobe". but it's kinda messy. hahaha.

this is the view of the 2 rooms.

the living room....which is just next to the rooms and it's not exactly a room. maybe i should call it "living area". haha

 

my shoe cabinet and dining area. actually they are all near the living area. i didnt even have to move myself. i only need to stay on the same spot and turn. hahaha. that's my vacuum cleaner at the side.

this is the kitchen. it's very bright and cheery. unfortunately, i really dont cook. i think i need to learn some easy cooking so that i can save $$$. good idea?

 

 well this new house is much bigger than my previous one. this is 500 square feet and it's in the mid-levels. tihis means that im nearer to town and work and the rent is very expensive. so im sooo broke now. i really wish i can meet someone who is handsome, rich, generous, kinda, smart, humorous and loves me like crazy and will pay my rent and everything for me. heh heh.